So, I am here and writing for the last day of the challenge. I have learned a lot but the greatest thing I have learned is- I am not who I think I am or who people think I am. I am me. Those images and thoughts will always be there but I have to change my approach to them.
Last night, I had a dream about a black panther(the animal not the group). It chases me around from house to house. I can not escape it. It was only when I face it head on that it starts to retreat. The panther did not change its shape but I changed my approach.
We all have things we avoid. Place and people that make us shrink away from life. One way to conquer fear is to lean into and do it anyway. I am not talking about dangerous things but about things that make us uncomfortable. When I worked with the homeless in D.C. one of my co-interns said something profound-Be uncomfortable. Meaning, life is about growing, sitting on the edge and facing those things we might want to avoid.
A New Approach
Recently, I watched The Hours. One thing that struck me was the need to live and do so deeply. Sometimes, this may mean spurring the establishment. Yet, at the heart there is more. Living means facing life and death and choosing life. Sometimes, death is people's agendas, your own demons or even silence. Sometimes, living is simply showing up for yourself-win or lose. And, yes-that gets very uncomfortable.