Misbehaving into the Light

Right now, is a strange time for me. I do not feel like I want to. I want to feel organized, in charge and confident and I feel the opposite.

These past few weeks have been hard. Yet, my friend L reminded me there is always light. Sometimes it feels like I am chasing the wind and falling into the darkness but the light catches me. I can not live in the disappointments and failures of yesterday, or even this afternoon. The light feels far away but doesn't it always abide with us? in us?

Someone said desire only brings suffering. I agree but it is hard to live in the present moment. It is hard not to be not be undone by people's expectation and your heart's secret yearnings.

If life has taught me anything it is that sometimes we fail, we misbehave and we taste mud. This is never fun or desirable. It happens and one must live anyway.



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