Laughing

today has been a day when i am laughing at myself. you know completely off the hinges with subtle craziness. Well, this whole week really.
Examples abound.

Tearing up the house looking for the remote-only to find it on the floor next to the couch.
Searching for a patron's office only to put in the wrong one anyway.
Forgetting your lunch in the fridge at home.
Carrying two heavy plants over half a mile when you could drive there in 2 minutes.Man ,did my arms hurt after that.
Trying to knit but forgetting what row you are on and thus being completely unable to follow a pattern designed to go by rows.
finding dried(fresh) ginger in the fridge.
forgetting that you were suppose to have baked that bread already-12 hours later it is a spongy mess in a bowl on the counter.
Finally, baking the bread(which turns out okay) and leaving it uncovered for the rest of the night.
Hanging your clothes out and watching the sky slowly darken and less than 5 minutes later you are taking your clothes off the line.
Not remembering if you locked your front door---torture!!

Yep, this is real stuff. I am the only person who needs to glue her remote to her elbow and get some serious tunnel vision or maybe a good assistant. Anyway, I guess I need to stop trying to take myself so seriously because obviously my life needed some laughter this week.

Surrender

Today, I was woken up by a light thunderstorm. The storm was not as ugly as it could be and for that I was thankful.

The spotty weather is mimicking my mood. I find myself spiking with emotions and it is hard because I don't consider myself an emotional person.

The thing is I have been fighting God. Naturally, I am losing. Not that I expected to win but I surely am not. Sometimes, it is hard to ride the seasons of life out. There are things I want to be certain ways and when they don't become as I imagined-I take it very personal.

I was thinking about faith and will today. The faith to believe that life is good and bumpy. I want that and many times I have it but it flees like roaches under the light. Like Thomas, I want to run my hands on the nail wounds and rawness but like everyone else I must be content with the unseen: the goosebumps, the small voice, the grace of another day.

Surrender is an ugly word in this society. Yet, I don't think it has to be. Sometimes, we have to go with the flow and believe that we are here for a reason. I don't think any moment of this life is an accident but sometimes I live in a mumbled mess of confusion and disbelief. Still, every moment is a opportunity to unfold the fist and offer a hand.

piles of life

Last week, I went on a wonderful vacation with J. Sometimes you need a few days to soak up life without all the dailies getting in the way.

Anyway, I am bit tired. Not exhausted but bordering. So, I need to slow down this week already.

That is cool. One of my favorite calming activities is reading psalms. The laments and joys of the human condition stretch into every generation.

Right now, I am debating on how to be plugged in but not obsessed. I need to know about new technologies but I don't think all technologies are good for all people. What I mean is- we don't need to jump on every band-wagon. There are many things I am too lazy to be apart of, many things I feel violate my privacy and many things I love.

I am tempted to say that it is easier to be who we want online than in the flesh. I find it hard enough in the flesh.

Enough of my ranting, today is a wonderful day. Yes, it did not go as I planned but it still stands firm on its own feet as wonderful. I can't let perfect be the enemy of Good. Thank you, Gretchen Rubin

Followformation - Make Following Make Sense

Followformation - Make Following Make Sense

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Things that fall

As the say we all know how it will end-speaking of life-but it is the stuff in between that causes the stress. Anyway, as usual things are good and bad. I am working in a o-going project at work that promises to fill my days. The bad thing about projects is what to do after you reach your goal. Seriously, am I the only one who gets a wee bit bummed when she has reached the pinnacle . That does not mean I don't love a goal but sometimes it just leaves you empty.

Anyway, some of my new goals are to start a new knit project, to read some of the books that are crowding my shelves, to ride my bike more, do more yoga, and to eat less junk. I am a sucker for cracker type snacks but I am finding my self munching a bit too much.

Some of these are ongoing but what happens when you find yourself doing all the things you wanted to do...that is always the pill to swallow. Enough Morbid downerism(is that a word?). I guess it is true-be careful what you pray for because you just might get it.


Check out this quote from Julia Cameron's the Artist's Way below.

I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow.
Julia Cameron

A Follower

Mercy is Compassion in Action

Just a little update and tidbits

I have not been on here in a while. I am a scatter blogger. Meaning I blog in binges and then sometimes not at all. So this could be interesting. This past weekend was Independence weekend. I had a wonderful weekend. It was not at all how we(J and I) had planned it but better. That is how life is. You can only have hopes of plans but you shouldn't hold on to them too tightly.

Speaking of holding on, I am not sure what to even talk about on this thing. I thought this was going to be a library blog but that seemed tedious. So bear with me as I am lead to what to explore in this space.

I am really curious about life's natural evolutions. We can be interested and uninterested in so many things in a year. I use to think it was fickleness( and some of its is)but now maybe we are like hermit crabs. You know, trying on different things for size. Truly, because sometimes things stick and sometimes they fall away.

Right now, I am really interested in noise and silence. The relationship between the two. I am a music junkie but sometimes the music becomes noise when it distracts from internal stillness. Things fit and then they don't.

Anyway, July 17th is bloggersunite for Human Rights day. Please check out the following link for some cool sites to check out.

Bloggers Unite

Happy Birthday

Today is Jacob's birthday. Happy birthday!!
In the upcoming days, my mom and brother will have a birthday, too. Happy Birthday to them, as well.
July has been full of birthdays of dear ones. J's parents had birthdays in late June and early July, too.
Birthdays are wondreful, not because of gifts or being special but because they give a little oppurtunity to take stock of our lives. They are not a time to lament what we didn't do or how we wish or should do something but to be grateful that we have made it through another year with our love ones still by our sides. That is all that matters.
It is a time for me to contemplate how wonderful and enriching these people make my life. Sure, it is never all roses but I think at the end of the day-only the love remains.

To Fly or to Fold (yoga versus pilates)

I am going to say something uncouth. I dislike pilates. Not that I have anything personally against the system of exercises because I have a few books that point out the benefits and the put together some nice sequences. I just seem to to avoid doing them. It seems a waste because I could really benefit from some of the posture exercise but I am too stubborn to realize their potential.
So as I was thinking. I realized that I don't know anyone who is a "serious" yogi or yogini who does the other with the same fervor. I am sure it happens but I don't know of them. Is there some sort of cultural divide between the two systems. They are often packaged together but I think that is a misconception because that assumes they are purely exercise systems and not a way of life.
I do think one could do them both and enjoy them but I often feel like I have to double up on yoga if I have went off and done some pilates. In order to shock myself out of this crazy biases or to at least challenge it- I am taking a pilates class in July. I feel like it is insane to be so resistance to something that I have never given a chance and if I can try brie(when I am a Vermont Sharp Cheddar girl) then surely I can do some pilates. Wish me luck!

For more about yoga checkout Yoga Journal Magazine
Yoga Journal Online
For more about Pilates check out My Yoga Online. This site features Yoga and Pilates Information. Also, try Pilates Style Magazine Online