Baby Love

Congrats to my friends B& C -they just had a darling girl. Babies always give me a fresh perspective on thing. You just want a world where they can be themselves and be happy.

More and more I realize how fragile life is. It is something we grip with a strong hand but it can slip away with the changing winds. Babies remind us that new and fragile soul that resides in us. I am reminded that I am growing, changing and failing daily. It is refreshing when you realize that is just life.

It is good that there is mercy and grace to meet me in my messes. It is good that everyday is truly a new day. It is wonderful that babies can be born to communities of people that love them. That people can belong to communities that love them. That we don't have to be perfect to be loved. I know that B&C will love this child no matter what.That their hearts are bursting with love and it feels like a blessing to partake in their joy-even from a distance.


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A taste of Saturday

Saturday Kind of Love
Here are some life that I am loving right now
-I am knitting on my circular needles with little trouble.I have had these things for years so that is a true feat.
-I have the world's best friends. Truly I just love them. They are just some awesome people who continually forgive me and love my craziness(or laugh with me about it).
-I love jazz again.There is nothing better than Coltrane,Ella, Billie and Frank.
- The Great American Songbook- I can't help loving it. True jazz nerdom!!
- This foodie pleasure on Mondays.
-a pair of red boots
-my brother for following his dream. Good Luck
-coffee, freshly ground and creamy.
-eggs and bread
- Unconditional Love-nothing compares to it!!
-Celine Dion's Christmas Album These Are Special Times




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Life Declarations

It is almost Christmas.
I know that this year was so hard for so many people. People are strapped emotional, physically and spiritually.

How do we cultivate joy in such a dark places? Last night, I was one of 55 people who got dunked in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. We did not become model religious folk or anything nor did we become perfect patient people. We made a declaration with our life about WHO we wanted to live for.

In a way, daily we make declarations about what we want to live for. If someone saw the hidden parts of your life-what would they say you lived for? The spirit of Christmas is like that.We can live on the material, the mental or the whatever- we choose. We can live in dark places(that sucks) but we don't need to live for the darkness!
Spread your love.
Happy Thursday!


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Whining All The Way

I have never liked a whiner. Turns out I have not been a big fan of myself because I have been a HUGE whiner lately. Maybe, I have always been a whiner. That is crazy to think. I have spent- how many years doing this?

Too many. I am not making any lofty promises-to stop whining. I am saying that life has to be viewed in prescriptive. When it is done that way-we live HOPE. Whining is about hopelessness and wishful thinking(for me). It is a dark spiral that can get really murky.

I am not one to believe we shouldn't suffer or voice our grievances. Holding our positive or negative emotions in is never a good thing. I am just saying- I whine too much about small things and the big things I never mention. I whine about my bread being stale and I never mentioned my heart breaking.

Is whining away to detract from real emotional and spiritual issues and grievances?
I have no answers but I can say this-don't whine to yourself, please ask someone to hold your heart.

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Misbehaving into the Light

Right now, is a strange time for me. I do not feel like I want to. I want to feel organized, in charge and confident and I feel the opposite.

These past few weeks have been hard. Yet, my friend L reminded me there is always light. Sometimes it feels like I am chasing the wind and falling into the darkness but the light catches me. I can not live in the disappointments and failures of yesterday, or even this afternoon. The light feels far away but doesn't it always abide with us? in us?

Someone said desire only brings suffering. I agree but it is hard to live in the present moment. It is hard not to be not be undone by people's expectation and your heart's secret yearnings.

If life has taught me anything it is that sometimes we fail, we misbehave and we taste mud. This is never fun or desirable. It happens and one must live anyway.



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A List of Loves

I find it helps to notice what makes your heart smile. It is a practice that can nurture gratefulness. Usually, I see that things I think I need are mere wants.
It is funny that what makes my heart happy is so simple and mundane. Sometimes, when I am chasing the wind being mindful of true sources of joy can center me in the richness of this life.

A List of Loves
Cute babies
Fresh salsa
The smell of bread and linen
Finding something I "lost"
Seeing other people brought "from death to life"
Eating with friends
Watching birds
Pulling a outfit together from forgotten clothes and rocking it!
Talking with people-friends, strangers, family, co-workers, etc.
A clean bathroom(does take some elbow grease)
Having little "concert" at my steering wheel singing this song
Giving something Away



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