Shifts in a Life Song

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country." ~Anaïs Nin

So, the shift is coming. I am seeing that in the midst of everything there is always a spark of light, a touch of humor.  Everything changes, everything shifts...

I just want do the same...go with the flow, fire my dreams and shift to the present.

Today, I felt my friend's baby move under my hand. This baby, which was not even imaginable a year ago, was shifting under my hand, warm with life. I am like that baby: full of potential,made to grow, to shift towards the light.

 Even when where I am is impossible, I must be mindful that moment by moment where I am is changing. Life is a continual birthing process, new experience breeding life but it also causing a process of dying to the old. Even if I am feeling vulnerable, I can take heart that at my essence, I am limitless. I am shifting each moment, to be where I need to be.

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If you are interested in YA literature, check out my friend, J's blog. She's a reading machine.
Oh, I will be moving , unpacking, etc, so I will be away from the blog world for a bit. Not too, long.

Until then,

Three Things That Matter...

"In the end, just three things matter:
How well we have lived
How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go" 
~Jack Kornfield

Be Patient

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions”~Rainer Maira Rilke

I hope your weekend was quite sweet. This word is popping up  a lot in my life: Patience. Honestly, I have always felt waiting was burdensome. Now I see that it can be a rich experience, if I let it transform me. Who will I be on the other side of this waiting? Who will you be?

What question(s) are you living today?

Random thoughts:Happiness by Another Name

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore

Yesterday, I was walking home from the library after a late evening meeting. As I started towards my apartment, a slight breeze touched my on my face and I felt it. 


It was not exhilarating or earthshaking but it was there...joy. It is true that these emotions are fleeting and I shouldn't be swept away by them. However, it's nice to have the breeze on my face and grin in my heart. Sometimes, I feel like it's too long since, I've been really free in a moment. Joy is like a cartwheel in your soul. It kicks you alive.


I want to make a point each day to touch this joy. I don't need to know what it will look like or its parameters. I just need it there like a kiss between lovers on ordinary day, so sacred and wondrous.


I hope this weekend is full of wonder and joy for you. 

Enough: Some Thoughts on Letting Go

I've been reading "the poem, Enough" by David Whyte over and over again these day.

I have been thinking about my own resistance to life and how much resistance cuts us from enjoying what is in front of us.Sometimes I think, if I can resist uncomfortable situation then I won't be uncomfortable but that is not the truth. 

I have often liken my resistance to wrestling with God because to resist where you are is to to rebel, to be hateful to the moment and to be hateful to creation. To me, resistance feels like you are at odds with the world, with every breathe. So, this poem, this word, "Enough" keeps popping up. Enough resisting. Enough warring against the moment. Feeling and being in a moment can be uncomfortable but I have to take heart that life is a rolling stone, it's always moving.

Today, where can you say "enough" and let go?

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Enough

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.
Until now

-David Whyte, Where Many Rivers Meet

The Frugal Yogini Files: Quick and Easy Yoga

These days, I am cutting expenses and that means no yoga studio time unless I catch a community{aka free} day at a local studio. In the meantime, I need to sustain a yoga practice.

Don't get me wrong, I love home practice but it can be hard to get into a groove. I think that a good home practice should have a mix of video, audio, book, magazine and online resources.Not to mention just free flowing on the mat, when the need arises. Otherwise, you are liable to be bored to death.

 So, I will be doing some exploring of simple and cheap practice tools.  Now, I don't recommend you just start home practicing without having at least going to some yoga classes or checking with your health provider.
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As usual, I have been falling out of the groove of in my home practice. On  a recent trip to the library, I picked up Quick and Easy Yoga by Christina Brown. Practicing with a book can be super frustrating because of the book spine. However, each sequence in this book is super short-four to five poses. If the sequences were longer, I am not sure it would work. Also, I would recommend reading through the sequence beforehand to have an general idea and then glancing at the book to keep on track.

This morning, I did the "Morning Activator Invigorating" sequence and it was just what I needed. It is a mesh of  bent leg planks and child's pose. There are also short sequences for the night, moods,random places and afternoons.

I would recommend this book for a beginner, someone trying to build a home practice, a busy bee or someone super stressed. I think that it has enough simple but mood enhancing for those groups. I don't think anyone who likes a vigorous workout would get much from this book.

What's your favorite quick and easy mood lifter?

Small Pleasures:Trips to the Public Library

When I got my library card, that's when my life began.  ~Rita Mae Brown

First, I want to say: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind thoughts on my last post. I am truly blessed to have you all as my friends!
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I have always had a soft spot for the public library. As a child, I would often wait at our local branch for my Mom to come for me after school. During that time, I would fall over with glee exploring. I think this is when I become a book dabbler. I love picking up a wide-array of topics and then puttering slowly through the pages of each book.

Over the years, I have developed a habit of being a library patron. There have been times when I have been a forgetful patron {hello, fines!} but mainly I have been faithful.  Personally, I am still a sucker for a stack of books but I also like to get music and sometimes, it's just nice to sit and stare out the window.

What's your favorite public space?

One Step and a Hungry Heart

"Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are." 
— Marianne Williamson


The thing is life is not a bowl of cherries over here. It is actually really frustrating. My job search has netted a lot of interviews and no job.  It is really hard not to take to personally. I realize that the competition is stiff and considering how many interviews, I have netted I am doing something right.  However, interviews do not fill one's bank account. 


The truth is I hate worrying about money. Okay, if I am honest I hate worrying about anything. Worrying ages you and makes you desperate. Still, I am frustrated and dishearten.

So, what does this have to do about joy? Very little it seems. However, joy is something that is deep under the surface of a situation. Joy is not about the situation. It is about you and your perspective. My thought now is how to not fall too deep in grief and take heart that this is a temporary situation. That feels really hard and out of my league. 


The thing is I've always believed on some level that everything can be worked for my good. I know, that is so church of me. However, it has proven true for most of life. So, I am literally at a standstill emotionally. Things are not Good but everything is always worked for my Good. 


I suppose this is illogical optimism.  I am well-aware that many people never get what they want or need. So, how do I grapple with that? 


Since, I am no philosopher or theologian, all I can do is work towards what I want and pray that it happens. One some level, I will always believe life start with one step and a hungry heart.

There is a room

I think there is a room

A place

To set free

All your dreams

I imagine this space

Mundane expect

For the sparkle in your eye

When you come to it

At your desk

In the park

Behind the incense

It seems impossible

That there could be more than

One word on life

But there is

There is a room

For your story

Your pictures

Your rants

Even your half-heated sighs

Take your dreams from your

Notebook

Climb the night

Gather your heart

There is a light on in this room

I"ll be waiting for your signal

Then, I'll kiss the air 

With these words

Rainy Days

Rainy days can be delicious.
There are a few things one should try to have on hand for these times.

A good book.
Some sweet tunes.
Something to scribble in.
A strong cup of tea.
Oh, someone or something to curl up on.

What's your rainy day formula?

Small Pleasures: A Happy List

The happy heart runs with the river, floats on the air, lifts to the music, soars with the eagle, hopes with the prayer-Maya Angelou

Lately, I have been practicing gratitude. I try to make a list every day at WE LOVE GRATITUDE or in my journal. I'm telling you that it can do wonders for your day. My happy list is sort of an arm of my gratitude list. Below are things that are making me happy as of late. Nothing major, just regular lovely stuff!

My Happy List
-Writing daily. I have been doing my morning pages with regularity. It has fired up my inner writer.

- Slow food. Cooking your own food can be so amazing and therapeutic.

- Painting. I have been doing some creative art journaling lately.I pulled my old paints out and went to work.

-Being bold. I am trying to say hi and greet everyone{with regards to safety}. It is so refreshing to me. I hate passing people and not acknowledging they are there. So, I am trying not to be that way.

-Bringing yoga to life. I mean taking what I have learned over these years off the mat.  Breathing through difficult situations, having self-compassion and honoring the moment are all things that have really helped me these past few weeks.

-Reading. I have long been a vivacious reading and lately I've been coming back to my first love aka the book. I can't wait to share some of my reads with you all!

-Encouraging others.  Our words are so powerful and we can be so careless with them. I try to at least sometimes direct my words for uplift of others. I think it makes a difference.

-Realizing "it" is possible. "It" is harmony, love and acceptance. I was recently hanging out with a group of random people. These were people from all different people groups, colors and beliefs but what united them was kindness. They were truly some of the most welcoming people I have met. It was six hours of heaven on earth. I think that is how we are meant to live. Only, we can make it a reality.


What's making you smile today?


P.S. The needlepoint in picture 1 was done by Roo Calhoun.

On Running~the Incubation

A few years ago, I had a small running and walking practice that nurtured my life and body. I miss being

active in this way. My feet on the pavement or trails have always had an amazing effect on my mind and body.

Also, for years I have been subscribing to a running magazine. Years! This year my subscription is up and I am not renewing because I really have not been putting this information to any use. I don't want to live vicariously, when I don't have to.

My goal is simple. My end aim is to run for about 30-45 minutes a day. Nothing fancy or too strenuous. I am not looking to be fast or train for anything. I just want to enjoy the journey of getting to know my mind and body in this new way.

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Tools for the journey

-A schedule. It is as hot as dickens around here. So I am thinking early morning or late afternoons for runs.

-Walk/run practice. This is probably one of the most effective ways for non-runners to become runners. When, I was running a few years ago, I did a walk/run practice and it was super beneficial.

-Wellness/Running notebook or log. 

-shoes. I will be using my barely used tennis shoes until I have proved a commitment.

-Inspiration. I love reading Runner's World. Plus, I will be reading online articles{like this}and blogs.

-A buddy. My friend J. runs. Might arrange a few running dates each month.

-Motivation. This is the big one. How do I actually get out of my bed/couch/bum and run? Right now, my biggest motivation is stress relief. I think it will evolve as times goes by or maybe not. Stress relief is a legit and wonderful motivation.

-Yoga for runners. I would really like to have a marriage between the two practices. So, I will be researching yoga and running a lot. From what, I've heard doing yoga can make one a better runner.

-Music. Songs can be arrange by tempo for a very effective practice. This could help with evolving from walking to running.

-Starting. All take and no action will not likely get me very far. So, onward I go. Today, I took a two mile walk, tomorrow, I'll add some jogging into my walk and there we go.

Do you have any advice on starting a new exercise? Or any running specific advice?

On Baking

If we can't, as artists, improve on real life, we should put down our pencils and go bake bread.
— Barbara Kingsolver

I confess that I am always surprised to find myself at the oven doing anything.

I have always considered myself a mediocre baker but lately it seems, I've gotten better. In the past, my baking has resulted in gooey dough but lately it's really scrumptious. The ingredients have not changed but my approach had. This weekend, I had such a blast baking with T. and K. and going to an international student potluck and making cookies. So, much dough, so much love.

In the past, an day in the kitchen would have bored me to tears. I would slap my ingredients together with little care. These days, I am more apt to bake in an intentional way. Below are some tidbits, I've honed from the journey.

Key Lime Tarts made with T. and K.

1. Pay attention. In my experience, I need to read the recipe a few times before I dive in. Trust, me knowing the flow of a recipe can save you a lot of grief. Once, I was making a almond butter cake and needed to separate the egg whites and yolks but did not realize this until much too, late. Needless, to say nobody got any cake that night.So, read the instructions and pay attention to the flow.

2. Gather. Searching through your cabinets for missing ingredients can be distracting. After, reading the recipe I like to bring all my ingredients and tools to my work station. Plus, you know, if you are out of an ingredient. Finding out in the middle of executing a recipe that you are out of something is not so terrible but it can result in something unsavory under your nose.

3.Measure carefully. Baking is really a science. Precise measurements typically mean good results.

T. and her homemade "dollies".

4. Don't be afraid to break the rules. I know, this seems strange{after what I just said} but you can break some rules for substitutes. However, research before you do. You often can substitute dairy products but depending on the recipe, there are specific ways to sub.

5. Ask and share. For the longest time, making bread was a challenge for me. Then, I mentioned this to my friend, J. We had a few bread baking dates and I got the hang of it. Plus, I got to bond with my friend on a deep level as we baked.

6. Trust. When your prepping for baking it can feel crazy to think that some flour, butter and milk can become anything but it can. Sure you may have to tweak, prepare and even start over a few times. Don't give up. Trust that even if the outcome is less than perfect, you can gain something useful  from the experience of baking.

J's pizza

Recalling my baking journey has reminded me how anything is possible. More importantly, as Kim reminded me baking is a great metaphor for life. It can get messy, you may need to knead it for a while, let things incubate and go through the fire.However, if you use good ingredients and prepare your dough with care, it's more than likely to rise.

What's your favorite baking memory?

sometimes, it's okay

sometimes you know
that it will be the day
that you can step out on limb
that what you have buried in the ground will come forth

sometimes you live with your hands open
giving and receiving
doing and being
feeling and thinking

sometimes your tears are your comforter
your friend
your angle
your motivator

sometimes you can't understand it at all
but you stand to do
whatever it is
because you must

sometimes, you fail
hard and publicly
softly and at your desk
in the corner of the room

sometimes, you fly
from the corner
get back in your chair
and put your pen to work

sometimes, you remember everything wrong
crying in bath
but sometimes you recall
miracles in the last breath

sometimes, you will look back on ordinary
days that seems endless
full of work and waiting
for the other shoe to drop

sometimes, you will look back on ordinary
days that seems endlessly
full of possibility
with confidence and knowing

sometimes, you are not alone
sometimes, you have generations lifting your hands
sometimes, your friends are your heart's wings
sometimes, it's okay.

A Mindful Heart: Thoughts on Kindness

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.  -Mark Twain

Naomi Shihab Nye wrote a wonderful poem about kindness that I keep going back and rereading these days. On some level, she and my own heart have convicted me of how tightly that I am hanging on to myself. I am not saying I'm done with following my needs and wants but rather I am mindful. I am mindful that it's okay to hold other's in my heart, that I can drop my story and the world will keep spinning. Lately, I have become so saturated in myself. I am really just tired of the L show being on 24/7. More importantly, I am becoming convinced that kindness to myself and others is one of the greatest gifts, I can give this world.

Simple Thoughts on Kindness

1. Kindness is about what's in front of You.  Who in your family and immediate friend-zone need a ear or hand? Offer to cook lunch for a friend struggling financially or call a relative you haven't talked to in a while.

2. Kindness is about Hospitality. How can you make the world more hospitable for those in need? Can you donate something-money, time, materials? How can we be more welcoming to those who are strangers? I have lived in my building for over two years. However, a few weeks ago, was the first time I really connected with my neighbors. It was an amazing and joyful thing to get to know these kind souls. However, it all begin with a smile in the hall.

3. Kindness is about taking care of the Earth. This can be a hard pill to swallow for many people. It may require looking at what you eat, wear, how you spend your money and even where you live.

4. Kindness is about Generosity. It is easy to give out of surplus but much harder to give when there's not a surplus. The truth is I am willing to give a few minutes if my time once for anything but a weekly commitment feels burdensome. So, I think things other than weekly commitments be included in ways I can generous. It can be as simple as letting someone go in front of me in line or pushing the cart to a mother's car so that her toddler doesn't run into the street.

5. Kindness is about the little Things. Sometimes, a smile makes someone's day, or a hand-written card or even a email. On some level, we all want to know that we matter. Sending tendrils of care out into the world can be just what a wounded heart needs.

What do you think about kindness and how do you try to live it out in your life?

Go Confidently

Bring the past only if you are going to build from it.-Doménico Cieri Estrada

Last night, I was doing some painting and rummaging through my art supplies.

I stumbled upon a few artifacts from the past. These artficats included: a picture of me at a friends "photo"shoot, a picture from my time in Wyoming, a lovely correspondence from a kind nun and a quote by Thoreau.

The quote and the artifacts struck me because they reminded me that I have been in similar situations of "stuckness" and emerged. It's never been perfect this emerging but it's always been good. I can have faith and doubt and still possess the confidence to take the next step{waiting , perching or leaping}.Moreover, all these artifacts represent encounters that have shaped me and built my heart for this very moment. 

What's giving you confidence these days?

Hello Life

First, I want to apologize for my sporadic blogging schedule. Lately, things have been crazy and my life schedule has been a little strange.

Anyway, today I am here. I've just finished going through a bunch of my art supplies. I found an amazing day planner from 2010 with hardly any of it's pages used. So I'm reclaiming it as a collage/creative journal.

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Otherwise, I am in the midst of a frustrating situation. You know how those are, right? What do you do during frustrating times?

I am thinking there is only do much I can do. Everyday, I come at life with the best of me(or I try to). In the meantime, I'm enjoying the small pleasures: tomatoes with salt, conversations with friends, NPR and walks. Oh and I'm snapping a few pictures of pretty things here and there. Hope you enjoy my latest from these past few weeks.

pics 1 and 2 are from magazines. Two is from skirt and I am unsure of 1{if you know, let me know}. Four is a part of a display I saw at World Apart.

Some Thoughts on Getting Lost

You've got to think about big things while you're doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.-A. Toffler

Lately, I am finding that the paths that I have set out in front in me are not stable.

Sometimes, the roads disappears. Sometimes, I have to be reset my internal gps, venture outside my preferred locales or take a different road altogether. Sometimes, I miss turn-offs, exits, or destinations and it is hard not to be overwhelmed with fear and anxiety in these moments.

However, when I think to my life objectives, I am able to see all these sidesteps, looping and path changes as part of a larger picture.
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Last night, I was talking with a friend about all the amazing things that have "happened" over the past two and a half years. Things that felt like coincidences or detours but have now become the cornerstones of my life, I am amazed. We can't truly plan our lives.

Instead, daily it comes down to living with an intent. In yoga practice, the teacher often asks you to set an intention for your practice. Some days, it maybe to be still, to be present, to be love, etc.  This intent informs your practice and works itself out in your time on the mat.
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Life intent works similarly.It helps you remember and reconnect with your goals. It is that internal guidepost that let's you know when you've reach the a "bedrock" of truth.

I feel like I am searching for a "bedrock" of truth these days. I am driving in mad circles, looping around and getting lost. However, sometimes, I look ahead and the sign points in the direction of home. As  I head towards home, the path appears. One step at a time, I am making it come alive but only by living it.

Happy Weekend!