today, i stopped by the knitting shop for some help on a hat that i am working on. to my surprise the hat had a lot more problems than i thought. at some point i has completely stop paying attention and knitted the wrong way in the round.
i should say- i am not a great knitter. i like knitting but it is not something i am amazing at executing. my fragile knitter's heart hurt a little to learn that i would have to unravel my project a bit to get back on track.
the helpful knittester{not quite sure what they call master knitters} showed me a very cool way to undo stitches and i started to talk with the lady next to me.
this *woman had recently lost both her parents and i was amazed that even though her heart was broken she was truly one of the kindest people i had met in a long time. she reminded me of a david wilcox song.
if you've not heard of david wilcox. you are missing out. his songs ooze compassion, humbleness and humor. yesterday, b. and i saw david wilcox. afterwards, i thought to myself, i want to live my life like the grace in one of his songs. i never really had a picture of what that looked like but i sort of do now.
anyway, the *lady helped me with the mess i was making of my hat and we swapped stories. when i think of kind people. i don't necessary think of happy people. i don't necessarily think of unhappy people either. i think of a way of being.
i think to be truly kind, you have to unravel yourself from any pretense of cool detachment. kindness takes apart the bricks in the stories that separate us. it touches the wounds that could isolate us. kindness moves us closer to light in each other. that does not mean we don't touch the darkness, the suffering. we do but we are held and seen in it.
ultimately, kindness unravels us-me- in the best way.
*name withheld for privacy
what are your thoughts on kindness and connection?
***
books:
the kindess handbook
most good, least harm
music:
fearless love
Its difficult, I think to unravel - to make yourself vulnerable to being hurt...easier and less courageous to stack up bricks of cool detachment.
ReplyDeleteStill, better and braver to be kind...
Lovely post, by the way..
@twitter-217980005:disqus thank you for your thoughtful response. i could not agree more that unraveling is hard. it is one of the hardest thing to open to vulnerability and the work is never done. i think that is the kicker :)
ReplyDeleteSorry about your hat, and don't fret, I have made the same mistake before :(
ReplyDeleteLove the connection of the unraveling project to the unraveling of ourselves. I too think unraveling is hard, it can sometimes leave you too open to hurt and pain. But I do think it is in kindness that we find connection, and little by little more kindness leads to greater connection, and before you know it the bricks have fallen away.
you are such a beautiful writer! what a stunning and deep way to talk about kindness. sorry i havnt stopped by your blog in a while!
ReplyDeleteps i love knitting too xxx
I think we find the people we're looking for and need when we need them! And you were both able to help each other. By listening, learning, and crafting together!
ReplyDeletewww.decoybetty.com
beautifully said.
ReplyDeleteno worries. i am so glad that it spoke to you.
ReplyDeleteThis part really spoke to me: "you have to unravel yourself from any pretense of cool detachment. kindness takes apart the bricks in the stories that separate us." Yes! That is so true! Sometimes you can sense that kindness in people, even when you first meet them. I think one can convey kindness in facial expression, words, and through listening - as opposed to cool detachment.
ReplyDeletecool detachment is something i have to work at myself. it's just a mask but a very familiar, one.
ReplyDeleteI'm just nodding and agreeing this whole way through. True kindness is openness, a willingness to empathize and listen and be fully present with someone in their joy or pain. It hurts sometimes, but it's worth it because it's exquisite.
ReplyDeleteLately, I find myself in a place where I can be wondrously kind, but something causes me to pull back. I worry that my kindness might give some the wrong impression and that I might have to hurt someone if I don't close off. I realize I just love, in whatever way I do, everyone in my life. I don't want to close off to that, but I'm not sure how I deal with people mistaking that for some sort of invitation, or something it isn't. Does any of this make sense even?
absolutely.
ReplyDeleteI love the metaphors that knitting--and your hat in particular--carry, and how the wonders of unraveling (as your post is so aptly titled) can be applied to so many things in life.
ReplyDeleteWhat a kind, sweet person. But it takes one to know one, eh? :)
I would love to pick up this hobby. If only I could quiet my hands for such a task!
@twitter-156749392:disqus . you can totally knit. it will help quieten your hands and mind.
ReplyDelete