The Curious World Of L

A bit of time

2012-01-30T17:48:00.001-08:00

This evening we went strolling downtown, through a small walking park and aloof to the call of busyness. It felt good.

Today, I have felt a mesh of emotions concerning a crossroads decision. I have been thinking this decision defined me. Made or broke me. Hopefully it will. I need something to shape this chapter in my life, redefine my goals and break this trance I've been in lately.

The thing is I am choosing not to be undone. I am choosing to believe this is not the end or the beginning. Just a road.

Right now, we will head to our kittens, roll out some dough, chop some veggies and keep on.

Starting here

2012-01-28T21:05:00.001-08:00

Tonight, it is late and I am journaling/journeying. Listening to some calming chants, kittens underfoot and b. close by.

This has been a week of stripping, refining and its still not done.

However, I have dug to the root of my dissation-disconnect. A deep disconnect with my hopes, community and grace. These things fold and hold me. I don't want to live such a me focused life.

Not that my wants and needs are not important but they were/are becoming the most important things about me. That's not how I'd like things to be.

So, I'm giving myself some slack,trying to find quiet space and humor. It's not perfect but it is the a legacy of living that start right here in me.

Starting here.
Right here.
Amongst the mess.
The rubble.
Aches.
Twisted yarns.
Open yearning.
Healing songs.
Imperfection that sends shivers through my throat.
I Won't fight life.
I'll just Be.

Daring

2012-01-23T18:46:00.001-08:00

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
-Audre Lorde

This evening I did a yoga practice heavy on balances. Balances take a lot out of me because they require so much focus.

I literally have to breathe with attention or I am likely to fall on my face. Truth be known, sometimes despite my focus I still topple over.

I use to be/am very sensitive about this- my falling over. I want/ed to be the perfect yogini- who performs every pose with just the right amount of grace and ease.

The trouble with performances, they are just that performances. Good and even worthy, they leave something to be desired when it comes to yoga.

Even on the most off days, a practice full of teetering and stumbling is the greatest gift you can give your mind and body.

It is powerful to fall, to know that your next movement may be wonky but to do it anyway.

Is there a place you are feeling wonky and showing up anyways?

Finding my way

2012-01-22T19:36:00.001-08:00

Have you ever tried to find you way. I mean really dug deep in your soul in a pool of quiet fumbling toward the center. I have a few times and usually it's mushy and unclear.

About 4 years ago. I was considering a year in Denver but I was offered a mediocre job that I took instead. Don't get me wrong it did not seem so bad at the time. And looking back it was very helpful and led me to many good things.

Four years ago, I heard a voice in my heart that said-go but I stayed. I don't think it was a particular location that I needed to go towards. No, my heart was yearning for service, hope and it's path. I'm not sure that Denver would have made things any clearer. All I heard was go but I did not believe what was offered was better than what was. I'll never know and that's okay.

The point is I made a choice with all it's consequences and rewards and am very happy with it. In some way, I feel like I am on the edge of another "Denver". I'm dragging my feet, hoping to be granted a stay and knowing I must be unafraid.

What are you wrestling with today?

Facing up

2012-01-21T12:53:00.001-08:00

Lately, I've been quite quiet on here.
Life has been full and I have struggled with knowing just what to share.

I always view writing as carthatic. It's something I use to get to the root of it all. My blog has served as means of exploring my life. However,as more people read it, I feel less compelled to share on the level I would like.

No, I am not ashamed of anything I put on here but there is this censor that tends to appear.

My censor is that nasty little voice that says.- it doesn't matter, that's boring, etc. I listen to her way too much.
In other areas, I've been calling her bluff. I thought I would face up and do it on here, too.

Dear censor:
It matters. It all matters.

Have a great weekend
And keep reaching!!

Seizing the power

2012-01-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I have been M.I.A. I mean, I knew I was but had no idea how much. You see I have been wanting some very particular things to happen considering a work situation and it has not. Not from my lack of trying.

In the meantime, I have been living on pins and needles and being a Negative Nelly{as they say}. As you know that is really no way to live. I dislike holding my breath, waiting for perfection and being all tense and edgy. Not a good look for me.

I'm still working to toward my goals but I am also trying to have gratitude for what the many good things that are already in place in my life. I think on some level I always think that if I am not worried and badgering myself nothing will happen. That really isn't true.

My friend diana, gave me a word recently: Power

I need to take my power back from the black hole I tossed

it in. Otherwise, I am bound to end up there with it.

Reclaiming it seems hard and it is because what exactly is power and how does one exhibit its characteristics in her life?

Like any good pilgrim I am open but hesitate. Ready but unwilling. All I know is that right now, I am set to pay attention to life, to make space around my disappointments and seek new opportunities. *Gulp* that feels like a mouthful.

And it is.

What are your thoughts on powerful living?

What are you reclaiming lately?

The year is over, a new one just begun

2012-01-03T12:15:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are in 2012.
*Deep breath* and sound of glee.
I promised myself that I would reflect privately on last year and I have and that I would refrain from making sweeping declarations and proclamations about this year. So, you won't find much in the way of hard-core reflection here. However, I would kinda like to share where I am at, so to speak.

One of my favorite bloggers said, she was hoping for a small year and I concur. That is not to say that I don't want lots of good things to happen because I do.But I am going to stop pushing to make it. For one thing, I am not even sure what "make it means" and another it's just too exhausting.

Last year was the year of the great failures (and some successes). What I mean everything was mushy and confusing. So many wrong paths, too many sad songs. And that's okay. There are so many new opportunities and avenues to explore and that is wonderful. I plan on exploring away.I'm just not trying to make any particular one the center of my world. Some people would call this plain lazy or maybe non-attachment. Whatever, you label it. I am just easing into the year.

Happy week!

December Views 12/19

2011-12-19T14:56:00.000-08:00

“Life isn't a support system for art. It's the other way around.” ~Stephen King

Can you believe that 2011 is almost over?
What a year?!!

I feel like I have hardly had time to process it all. Feeling the need to get the old journal out and scribble away. However, maybe somethings are best left open-ended.

If I am learning anything this year is that everything is not immediately solvable.
Sometimes, you have to struggle, sit and retry many times before you get even to base one. Don't take that as discouragement but comfort. It's life. We all go through this in some area or another in our lives. I don't mean that to be flippant but rather as something I am finding to be a truism is my own life.

My saving grace this year{besides friends, family and love} has been the arts. Making, seeing or just thinking about art fills my heart with excitement. I have for years had tons of art supplies storied and stashed here and there, recipes I've wanted to try,books half read and piled and so many intentions. it has been nice to try my hand at things, finish and start adventures. I am not saying that it's all been dealt. What I am saying that I am keeping at it.

Keeping at it. One day and one step at time. This is what helps you build the life you desire.

What is filling your heart with excitement?

*Loved this article on motivation.
*Scheduled thinking time seems like a great idea to me.
*This is a lovely blog to visit. Very inspiring.

December Views 12/16

2011-12-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.~Maya Angelou

Life is simple.
Lots of work.
Lots of love.
Endless possibilities.

What's making you hopeful lately?

December Views 12/12

2011-12-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

-Give me the courage to love with an open heartAn open heart.I wanna love with an open heart.~India.Aire

We spent a chilly Saturday at a local park and find a sweet grove of pine trees. I confess, it felt good to in the midst of pines again. You see, I grew up in the Piney Woods and finding the grove (at the bottom) was beautiful surprise and reminder of home.

Lately, I have been counting my blessing. A day in the pines is definitely on my list. As is- making awesome amazing food with B., catching up with some friends, sunshine, apple sausage, earl gray tea on lazy afternoons and loads of books to read from the library{best public place, ever!}. What's on your gratitude list lately?

* Love this article on gratitude.
*Current favorite pose:legs against the wall. Perfect for centering on busy days.

Have a sweet week,

December Views 12/7

2011-12-07T12:24:00.001-08:00

It snowed earlier today.
I had a big meeting in the middle of the day
All I have time for is--
a cup of tea and a steaming bowl of rice
topped with kale, carrots and coconut, if I'm lucky.
What's on your plate lately?

P.S. Currently reading this. Such a lovely book.

Should the "Not Enough Blues" Strike You

2011-12-06T18:39:00.001-08:00

“but if you can plant yourself in stillness long enough, you will, in time, experience the truth that everything (both uncomfortable and lovely) does eventually pass.”~Elizabeth Gilbert

today, i am feeling a little off
it happens
mountains are made out of molehills
a body just feels weary

then i talk to an old friend
not about my troubles but about
life and upcoming birthdays and cooking
and feel a spark of life

i call my mother and she holds
my heart over these thousands of miles
all the while preparing for my
prodigal brother's return
that alone is enough
to flood the light

later my love will come
and hold me
because i asked
because sometimes, you need silence
sometimes, you need connection
and sometimes, you just need to be
touched tenderly.

should your heart be heavy or light
should you feel lost or found...
take care of your heart
like it was your dearest friend
invite her to tea, give her a nap
look her in the eyes and tell her the truth.
You are enough. I am enough. This too, shall pass.

P.S. Love this post. You could say it inspired this post.

December Views:12/5

2011-12-05T18:40:00.001-08:00

This December, I'm participating in december views. The idea is to to simple post a picture, when the fancy strikes during this month.

P.S. Lately, I'm loving this blog. It's just perfect to curl up with.

Nothing Changes but Everything

2011-11-28T18:09:00.001-08:00

If you don't try
what do you have but regret
You don't have to be perfect or good
Just do something
Something that makes your heart sing.

I wrote the words above last night in my journal. Lately, I am surprised by the elements of "stuckness" that seems to appear in my personal writing.I confess that I really had not taken the chance to check in with myself. So that could explain much.

Instead, I've been putting out small surface fires and not getting to the heart of the matter. The truth is that I've been going at an exhaustive rate these past six months and while many good things have happened, I have not had the time I need to nurture my soul.

However, I am not really in a position to do a major life overhaul. I have to find some good in the now in the situations and things that are causing me annoyance. Two things that I have learned over these years of practicing yoga and developing an authentic spiritual practice of my own is that everything changes and that your life needs your attention.

While this does not solve the things that I feel or problematic it does give me a little space to breath around things. I can take heart that these situations will change in some way. Whether, it will be my perspective or actual physical change, I can't say.

I can also take heart that by paying attention to what is the birds chirping, the dishes in the sink,the bathroom trash, watering my plants, packing my lunch, my embroidery project and talking with those I love that I become attentive to my own life.

Back to my journal entry{from above}. I wrote that after I realized that I was using the wrong fabric for my embroidery. The threads are getting all tangled and ugly on the underside. And if I am honest the picture side is not perfect. However, I realize that sometimes that's the way it is. I am not a great embroiderer{nor do I have hopes of becoming one}. I take making things serious but not too serious. My whole goal is to make and enjoy. In this way, I suppose nothing changes but everything.

P.S.
I found this article very inspiring- it's about artist care.
This is such an inspiring series.

Have a sweet week!

A few of my days

2011-11-26T14:14:00.001-08:00

“Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering - because you can't take it in all at once.” ― Audrey Hepburn

I can't believe it is already the end of November. I don't know how this year has passed so fast. I can honestly say that this has been a year of unparalleled change. My life is nothing like it was at the beginning of the year, in many ways. All these constant changes has really made me mindful of the simple good things that give life rhythm.

Wreath making, time at the table, road trips and interesting locales. I do love the simplicity of fall.
How has life been treating you?

P.S. Thanks for all your lovely comments lately!

Small Pleasures: A List

2011-11-21T16:34:00.001-08:00

My life is full of stories. Stories that I feel too tired to put to words these days. That is the downside of working a lot. You are moving too much to reflect. So, I have no lofty thoughts to share. Although, I hope at least one in the upcoming weeks. Instead I thought I'd share a few things I've come to appreciate lately.

Small Pleasures
1. meals that made with real food. While, I "know the benefits" of eating whole foods actually doing so can be hard when you are in rush. I've been better about cooking at home, packing my lunch and saying no to things I don't want(or need to eat).
2. a cooking partner. (see #1). it turns out I am more likely to be up for collaborating on creative and healthy meals when I have a partner in the kitchen.
3. deep breaths.someone on my twitter feed(can't recall who, sorry) mentioned taking three deep breaths every time you feel overwhelmed. Over the last month, I've been practicing this and it does seem to help refocus me.
4.finding time for pleasure. last night, B. and I sat around reading and listening to music. I realized that I try to fill most of my days with something productive. It felt good just to have time to do a lot of nothing.
5. books. I'm listening to this audio book, enjoying this handbook, and being seduced by this enchanting mediation on beauty.
6. tea. i really can't imagine a day without it. can you?

What small things are giving you pleasure lately?

Inquiries and Outtakes

2011-11-14T11:49:00.001-08:00

If we go down into ourselves, we find that we possess exactly what we need-Simone Weil

This fall has been busy and I have struggled with how to blog at any regular interval. That would not be bad if I did not "need" the encouragement that a regular practice can provide. So, I am toying with the idea of much smaller and more frequent sort of posts. I am thinking about super short posts on compassionate eating, recipes, yoga/relaxation tips, poems, and other interesting things. Not sure how this will play out but I don't seem to have the time that writing essays requires and seem to get in this all or nothing mind frame. What do you think about that format dear readers? How do you keep your blogging fresh and authentic, if you blog?

In the meantime, enjoy these outtakes from my "Saturday in the City" with B{that's his shoe in the corner}.
---
Made a version of these this weekend. Yummy, if you like chickpeas and sandwiches.
Finished reading this delightful book.
Finally realized that my YMX giveaway was over. Told you these were crazy times! Congrats to the lovely Charlotte, of My Pixie Blog-email me your snail mail address asap.

The Risky Steps

2011-11-07T08:55:00.000-08:00

When you want to do something outside your "normal" realm of activity. You can come up against a large mountain of fear. Recently, I decided to dive in and do something that I have been wanting to do for a while. Leaping into this step even on small scale felt very risky and vulnerable.

I honestly had a million reasons why I could not even take a small piddling step and then I just went for it. I just took a little step and announced in a small circle that my intention was to take a step. After that, I spent some time dreaming and planning about what the next small step could be. I know this is all very vague but things are still not ready to be unveiled. So, I took it.

That's how life happens. You have to dream it and then take one small step at a time{if you are a fraidy cat like me}until you get somewhere.

What have I learned?

1.You have to take a step, even a small piddly one. You'll be braver for it.

2.Tell people what you dream. People who are trustworthy and on your side, it'll make a difference and give you someone to talk with.

3.Ask for the help you need. Do you need encouragement? tester? eyes? Ask for it and receive it.

4.Find a safe place to dream. Dedicate a notebook, a file folder, a posterboard,etc to just dreaming up things assoicated with your dreams.

5.Dream big. I know that often times it seems too risky to go for the juglar but sometimes we must.

What is one small step, you can take in the direction of your dreams today?

Miracles and Meaning

2011-11-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

“Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.”~John O'Donohue

Fall is typically the time that I feel restless, willing to undergo metamorphosis and transformation. And it is also, the time when I am tempted to leap into something head first. This has not always had the desired results and sometimes, it has worked brilliantly. Thus, I am not certain the best way to embrace change but I know that it is necessary.

So, I suppose the thing to do is trust. Trust that you can never really lose your way, your destiny or your grace. Trust in all your heart that your life is no accident but full of miracles and meanings.

What are you learning to trust lately?

Thoughts on Creating a Nurturing Practice

2011-11-01T08:01:00.000-07:00

Today is the first of November.So, I made my usual list of goal and intentions for the month.In many ways, intentions can be powerful.

For me, they serve as a sort of guidepost. This month, my list is unusually long because I have to do a few unpleasant things that I've been avoiding and there are some things that have fallen to the wayside that I need to pick back up.

One thing I want to have this November is a nurturing yoga and meditation practice.If there was ever a time that I need such a practice, it is now. Here's what I am thinking:

1.Is it realistic? Knowing my life, my schedule, my budget, my goals ,is what I desire in terms of a practice doable? This means I have to discharge what everyone is telling me about building a practice and craft what is best for me out of the ground of my life.

2. Is it personal? I am a picky Pat when it comes to yoga classes and personal sequences. I think that any given day what we need changes. While, it is true that sometimes we don't know what we need, I think that mostly we do. So, I try not to hold too tightly to what I think I want in terms of sequencing if it's a class but if it's my personal practice then I am spontaneous and flexible when it comes to sequencing.

3. Is it life giving? Meaning does it give me the energy I need to encounter this world in a less self- centered way. While, I do believe a yoga practice is personal on some level, I don't think yoga is about isolation. After all, yoga is about union of the spiritual, the mental and the physical. Whatever you practice on the mat has to move from that space in some way. Thus, a mark of a nurturing practice is the practice of nurturing(or whatever it is that you need) qualities in your relationships with others and yourself.

In many ways, setting an intention seems a little new agey for me. However, there is a truth to what my mom(or someone ) use to say, if you don't know what you want you'll liable settle for anything. Notice that in my thinking I am not saying anything about duration, style or pace. I function best with sense of organized freedom but you should set your intentions in a way best for your inner peace. All I am doing is each day before I get out of bed or touch the mat asking, how can I make this an nurturing experience? The three thoughts are really just ways of navigating the spectrum of nurturing.Do you set intentions? If so, what are your intentions for this month?

P.S. Don't forget to leave a comment here by November 15th to enter the YMX outfit drawing.

A Reminder of Sorts

2011-10-21T06:26:00.001-07:00

Sometimes a reminder helps. Here are a few things to tuck in your heart.

*You are never alone

*We are all doing the best we can

*It's going to be okay

What else do we need to recall?

Have a peachy weekend, dear ones!

Listening

2011-10-19T05:06:00.001-07:00

There has been a situation going on in my life that I've needed to put my ear to and listen.

Deeply listen.
Not only to my own frayed expectations.
Or dreams of another.

No, I needed to listen to my own inner inspirer.
When I put an ear to her
I heard unexpected dreams

Things buried deeply in my heart calling for fruition.
So it begins

One small step towards
What is and one
Big step away from what
Was.

Getting to Good

2011-10-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been thinking about the ingredients of "good" life. Or rather, I have been refining my thinking on the subject.I admit it is hard to unravel from what people have told me would enhance my life to what really adds true depth to my living.I suppose it will take a lifetime of grappling to get "there".

However, in the meantime, I am looking at the small question. What makes me happy despite any iinterior or exterior circumstance.The list is small but true.
-a loving touch
-laughing
-fresh, hardy food
-pockets of quiet
-adventure

What's on your list?

P.S. Speaking of good stuff. I recently tried out this and this and loved it. Super comfy. Leave a comment, by November 7th{12 a.m.est} for a chance to win your own version.
P.S.S. Loving this advice about getting your yoga groove back.

A Fall Healing List

2011-10-07T09:03:00.001-07:00

The fall is my favorite time of year but it can also wear me out. I have to be mindful of my mood as the days get shorter. So, I have assembled a little list of healing reminder for the fall to foster a dash of healing.

-Get some sun. I have found even 15 minutes a day can make a difference. If you are unable to be out in the sun, try a sun lamp.

-Build in walking or biking in your day. I try to do as many errands as possible by parking at a central location and walking. It's a great way to get exercise and sun.

-Lemon/ginger tea
Place 2 thin slices of lemon, 1/4 teaspoon of grated or ground ginger and 1 teaspoon of honey. Pour boiling water over the mixture. Let cool to your comfort and drink. Adapted from the Rhythm of Family.

-Nurture compassion through meditation. Lately, I have been listening and practicing with this cd.

-Eat grounding foods. This differs from person to person and even day to day. Lately, I've been craving kale and oatmeal.

-Rosemary hair products. I use a dash of this. Rosemary is a natural mood booster, too.

-I'm of a firm belief that there is little a good laugh(or hug)can't cure. Laugh lots(hug more)

What are some of your favorite healing activities for fall?

P.S. I hope to be back to blogging and visiting soon. Bear with me.

A Scant Return

2011-10-05T12:25:00.001-07:00

Life has been a bit busy the last few weeks and I have been a little absent in these parts.

I've finally moved{again} and unpacked. My days are getting some rhythm back to them and for that I am thankful.
---
I am starting to fall back in love with ordinary life. The thing about love is that it's exquisite and wondrous but feels so commonplace, like one's own skin.

I imagine these sunny days with a touch of chill are the perfect setting for a life affair to ignite.

---
It is not all roses but what is.
I am experimenting with silence, romance and baking these days. For me, these have always been wild untamed areas in my life.

Then again, I suppose anything pregnant with possibility is that way. So the whole of life underneath the surface must be moaning and singing with fire.

P.S.Join me next week for a giveaway.

A Beginning, an End & Somewhere In-Between

2011-09-26T12:22:00.000-07:00

Change always comes bearing gifts-Price Prichett

A beginning...
There are so many things incubating and sprouting in my life. I can hardly keep up. One thing that is super fun is I am moving close to my job. I loathe moving but love decorating a new place.

An end...
This marks the last of my Noticing The Light posts. These last few weeks have been a time of extreme change. I am still the same and yet I am not. I have been more conscious of things/thoughts that feed my spirit than ever before.
Some observations-
-When you feel afraid breathe. Just take a few deep breathes and you are likely to be open to the experience.
-Sometimes you get everything you ask for but it isn't always the way you imagined it.
-It doesn't always make sense but have faith that it doesn't need to right now.
-Smile when you are alone. Don't save your best for everyone else.
-You are brave{see #1}. Yes, things scare you but you lift your hands and you keep on.

Somewhere In-between...
I like to think of myself as being in motion, evolving, changing and healing.
We are all journeying through this life full of endings and beginnings
Brushing upside each other
Pouring tea
And holding hearts

I imagine there is something
We all hunger for
something we call by different names{maybe}

But this thing nevertheless moves
Us towards each other
And towards ourselves

Somewhere alongside the starts
The fumbles and the endings
Is this land of uncertainty
And breath.

Happy Week!

To believe

2011-09-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was talking with my friend, B. and she
said that I couldn't always run from everything that scares me
unless I wanted what I don't want.

She told me there was something big enough
to hold me all of me, the heavy and light. The fear and the fearlessness.

She said there is a lot of life left to unfold
and I believe her.
---
This life is a work of art
a constant unraveling, it seems

The hope is to embrace it all
with your whole heart
until you are tender and raw with love

Only love can withstand fear.
Only love can hold you always.

Noticing

2011-09-16T10:48:00.000-07:00

Grace swells up and everybody's thirst is quenched-C. Flinders

Here's what I'm noticing this week:Day{16-20}
Life is Generous. Receive it!!
Saying the truth can be hard and embarrassing but it also can be freeing.
We are made for community.
Self-care is essential.
Artist dates are good for the soul.

---
-Finished this book.
-In love with this album. Achingly beautiful.
-My hands can't get enough of this salve. The smell is addicting.

Have a sweet weekend!

Reclaiming Inspiration

2011-09-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

A while back, I mentioned that I was repurposing my old day planner as notebook of sorts.
I have been quietly creating a paper oasis. My motto for inspiration is to the fill the well with images, words and thoughts that forges {but not force} a connection to flow.

I reclaimed this date book because it was really too pretty to throw away unused.

Fill it with things that made my heart smile,

words that reminded me of hope,

images that sparkled with truth and beauty

Things that proclaim what I know deeply but

sometimes forget.

I am Loved.

This is enough.

What do you do to reclaim inspiration?

----

Love this reading on Finding Light in the Darkness.
Thinking at trying my hand at knitting something like this. Simply lovely.
I'm curious to make this eggplant dish. I confess I never know what to do with eggplants!

Noticing

2011-09-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

I find hard to say exactly what I am noticing.{Day 11-15}
So but I am bubbling with a hundred different exquisite feelings at this moment.

This has been a week where I felt like my insides were being awaken.My heart was being pulled wide open.

It's like I'm coming over the other side of a large hill. Right now, all I can do is be still and notice. Don't really have words but here is some pictures of small moments from week.

Love Yourself

2011-09-06T06:30:00.000-07:00

Source: unmodernman.tumblr.com via keishua on Pinterest

Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. – Lucille Ball

To be honest, I am a little tired these days,I've been trying to be gentle with myself. So, I am taking it easy as much as I can. I realize that I am very project oriented girl and that is good. I really love taking on projects. I just need to not add any more for a bit.

At times, like this I know that I need to take a some time for self-care{L STYLE}.

So:

I will be attempting to catch up on my pleasure reading. I especially want to finish reading this article., this book and this super cool blog.

Watching reruns of this show.

Knitting.

Lay on comfy pillow and let the stillness wash over me.

Did I mention:

There is a slight hint of fall in these parts{it comes and goes}. So, I am looking forward to some of my favorite fall activities: bread making and tea {maybe matte} in bed. Oh and the leaves!

What are some ways that you practice self-care?

Love is All Around Us

2011-09-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

"This is what we call love. When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there's no need at all to understand what's happening, because everything happens within you." ~ Paulo Coelho

Some things I'm noticing {Days 7-10}:
Enthusiastic is contagious. Pass it on.
We all need people who remind us that we are awesome. Be that person.
Love builds you from the inside out. Let it reign.

What are you noticing?

P.S. Have a great {long} weekend.

At this point...

2011-09-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

At this point in my life. I'd like to live as if only love mattered. As if redemption was in sight. As if the search to live honestly.Is all that anyone needs. No matter if you find it. ~Tracy Chapman

---
*In addition to my Noticing the Light project, I'm doing 30 days of Loving Kindness. I confess today, this was one in the same. I just needed to breathe and speak peace and healing into the air. It is amazing what a few deep breaths and speaking some words of love can do for the spirit.

* I will be posting periodic updates about my project over the month but no daily countdown post.That's just not natural to me.

*Also, I am back on the morning pages train. Jamie Ridler is hosting a September group, if you want to join in.

*I hope that the post finds you in good spirits but if you are low{or just want to chat}, don't hesitate to shoot me an email: curiousworldofl(at)gmail(dot)com. We are all in this together and must not be afraid to show our tenderness towards one another.

P.S.
-I just won a lovely goody bag from Christina, of Soul Aperture. Her blog is just deliciousness and super inspiring.
-Also, received a the ecourse, Be Gentle, Be Love in a giveaway on Helen's Blog. I love visiting her space because her writing speaks to my soul.

Good, Busy & A List

2011-08-30T20:07:00.000-07:00

Life has been good and busy this week.
I am still doing my project of noticing the light. However, I am not sure how I feel about daily blogging. So, I will have to figure out something. In the meantime, I will share some things that are making me smile.

Smiling List
-our new kitten is the cutest thing ever.
-Big Sexy. What a great show. "The world is ready-they just might not know it yet"-quote from one of the stars of the show.
-Mysteries. I finally have an real interest in mysterious again. Hope to share some of my finds soon.
-A blog about Kentucky(ish) Music! I have been listening to music more than usual, so this is a great find.
-A good sharpie is very useful for journaling.
-Is it me or is it getting cooler?Hopefully cardigan weather is around the corner.

So Much More

2011-08-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

"The doors may be locked but they're just doors. Come, be welcomed into so much more"-David Wilcox

Yesterday was quite good and a nice ending to a very busy weekend. After work I went to visit my good friend, J.. We went to the grocery and got some ingredients for a meal.

During our dinner prep we got to talking about relationships{in general}. It seemed to us that a good relationship has a level of intimacy, shared values/interest and a good level of trust.

Trust seems like a vague word but loaded word. What does trust in relationships mean to you? I think I would have to say that an element of trust is to have the freedom to disagree or voice alternative opinions without fear or shame.

In many of our relationships we are scared that the rug will be pulled out from under us. I am not saying this is what will happen but we live like that is the truth. I wonder how much much smoother life would be if we lived like there was never going to be shortage of love and affection. What are your thoughts on the matter?

---
Noticing the Light-Day:6: I use to think that I was a very internal person and on some level. However, I am realizing that I know when it is safe to share. As I sort through the past, those I was weary of sharing with-there was a good reason later on Not to. So, maybe I already knew what I needed to know. I am noticing a little theme emerging: It is okay to trust myself. Even if it seems nutty, most times when my inner compass know best. I have to trust God gave me a mind and intuition for a reason.

Form and Matter

2011-08-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

"Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior's world." ~Pema Chödrön

I use to go to a church that said if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. I think that they had a very specific thing in mind but I am going to reorient that phrase for my purposes.

Recently, I told J. that I never really had any big dreams in life. I never wanted to be an astronaut or (s)hero.I really just want simple sort of life working towards the greater good and encouraging others to wholeness. I don't want to be famous or cool, I just want to be the best me I can be. That's it.

So, that's what I stand for. It does not feel like much. There really is nothing to confess or a dogma to subscribe to but there is surely a place in this world for simple dreams.

Like this picture, the details of the how and when are out of focus but the form and matter are their and surely that counts.

---
Noticing my light-Day 5: Finally did some yoga while watching sesame street. I use to think that I could only do yoga in a specific place with certain soundtrack. That's not the case. I felt as awesome practicing right where I was as anywhere.We are not limited to the classroom, studio or any particular place. I am seeing how some level of flexibility can enrich my life.*I'm on a quest to notice my light for 27 days.

Some Thoughts on Vulnerability

2011-08-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable." — Madeleine L'Engle

One of my favorite kitties is not timid about his feelings. Ranger is his name and your lap or cup is his on sight. Ranger is strange phenomena in cats for me. His need for affection is so apparent. I sometimes wonder what would happen if we humans demonstrated our vulnerability {in safe places} like Ranger.

One of the trademarks of "GROWNESS" seems to be not needing anyone and being able to figure it out. However, if the self-help section and experience is any indicator of how we struggle to figure it out, maybe we have it wrong.

Maybe the trademark of adulthood should be knowing when to ask for help and when to share your heart.When I think of all the people(myself, included) suffering under the weight of perfection it seems like a shifty deal to keep up appearances. What are your thoughts on vulnerability?

---
I'm on a quest to notice my light for 27 days. *Day 4: I am thinking about "right work" lately and how my current plays into this. I truly believe in equality for all people{in all aspects of life} and I appreciate the work that the public library does to bridge these problems, especially in terms of access to resources, skills and pleasure. This is not to say that it's fairy tale land because it isn't but it does feel good to be part of something serving the greater good.

P.S. Love this post on about creating a life vision.
Check out this post about simple philanthropy ideas.
Speaking of vulnerability, loved this one by Rachel via Jen Lemen's blog.

A Crooked Little Road

2011-08-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

"It's good to do uncomfortable things. It's weight training for life. -Anne Lamont

Last night, I got lost on my way home. The ironic thing is I had went this way home many times and it did not even occur to me that I could get lost. Needless to say driving on country roads in the dark is not one of my favorite pastimes.

There really wasn't anything to fear. I was not even really "lost" as much as I did not know where I was. The interstate was literally right under my nose. So, I wonder how many times in my life have I felt "lost" and really was on the right road, anyways.

In library school, they taught us about this part of searching called exploration. During this time, there is a high level of uncertainty, confusion and doubt. Going through this period is likely to feel endless and make you wish for the shore. However, maybe there is value in grappling, moving through fear and following your gut.

Noticing my Light-Day 3:The truth is when I have really listened to my inner compass, I have been in strange(sometimes dark places). However, once I moved with the uncertainty and keep going , I got to the light.*I'm on a quest-27 Days of Noticing the Light.

The Birthing Process

2011-08-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

Our creativity is the soul-deep impulse in all human beings to go beyond the perceptions of the senses to the conception of something new. We begin with what is and make something more of it-Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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*Noticing My Light-Day 2: Today, I awoke to find a cat in the midst of the birthing process. I have not seen a cat or anything/one give birth in ages. From my observation, birthing is laborious and painful while it is in process.

However, more often than not, it produces something akin to a miracle. While, I am not birthing any human beings, I am birthing life(or is it vice versa?) and energy.

Today, is really bringing home how all beings are connected on some level. Yes, we are all different with different designs and ways of living but I think at the heart of it we just want to unfold and live.
*I'm on a quest - 27 Day to Noticing the Light. Please join in at any time!

A Few Honest Words

2011-08-22T04:52:00.000-07:00

We get one story, you and I, and one story alone....It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.~ Donald Miller
---
Today marks the first day in my 27 days of Noticing the Light journey. I am super excited! There last few months have felt like I was swimming uphill. So, it will be interesting to make an effort to notice what fueling me. Please join in at any time.
---
Noticing my light- Day 1: Sitting out on the porch with a kitty in my lap and looking out over the horizon. I have felt a lot of peace by touching stillness and being outside. I am finding myself wanting to be get some porch time each day. There is something refreshing that seems to happen when I do this. It's like God is pressing the refresh button and I feel energized and alive each time I return from outside.

P.S. Today is my first day at my new public library gig!! *cartwheels and butterflies*
P.S.S. If you are tea nerd, please consider joining this tea trade.

peace,

27 Days of Noticing the Light

2011-08-20T14:56:00.000-07:00

The Power of Purposeful Living

I've decided to do something a little different on the blog for a bit. I am doing a intentional project of noticing what feeds my life's light. On August 22nd, I will start my first official day of NOTICING MY LIGHT. If you think this experience could be useful for you, please join in at any time.

The Details: Notice and document/recall what feeds my soul. Documentation can be done through stories, journaling, photographs, songs, etc. It does not have to be made public but can be. At the very least, once a day for 7 minutes, I must sit and bring forth experiences and memories that I think helped feed my light.

What do I mean by the light?: When my soul is being feed amazing things happen. I am lit up from the inside out, engaged in life and flowing. There are experiences, activities and even colors that can light me up.My goal is just to notice those moments when life is a prayer and I are the receiver of grace.

Why is this important: If you are uncertain of who you are, what you are suppose to do or where you need to go-sometime noticing how experiences in your life feed your soul can be a good tool. If you are like me many things/most things make you happy. Thus, you feel even more lost thinking about what makes you happy. So, instead of trying to make something out of this, my challenge is to just live and observe.

I sincerely hope that you join me. I will be sharing my insights about this experience from time to time and would to hear yours. Please place them in the comments or email me at lekeishua(dot)arthur(at)gmail.com

Summer Love

2011-08-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

I doubt anything sums up summer like sitting on the porch and fresh tomatoes. I am happy to say that I achieve both and many times.

Still, I have a few summer wishes. Such as:
-restart(again) an active yoga practice.
-make some fresh (with simple syrup) lemonade
-actually finish a few books. My to-read stack is crazy ridiculously big!
-scribble a few poems for giggles.
-make some fresh guacamole. Avocados have been soooooo pricey this year and sadly, I have not been able to pay almost $3 for one piece of produce.
-grow some sprouts with the kiddies.

What's left on your summer love list(if you make those sort of things)?
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I love this site revamped.
This is such an inspiring post
Still a huge fan of this song.

The Ordinary

2011-08-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

These days, I am convinced that if the only miracle/magic that we witness is our own breathe that is enough.Sometimes, the simple act of being is enough to overflow your heart with gratitude.
Here is a list of ordinary things making me happy.

1. Music. I've rediscovered my Ipod and all my music that I've been hoarding for years. While this may be controversial, I am a huge fan of genius mixes.
2. Sitting on the porch in the evening with the cat in my lap.
3. Late night store runs.
4. The things that kids can do with a box. Talk about imagination.
5.A comfy bed and freshly made bed.
6. Crepes with T. and K.
7. Cooking brunch with J.
8. Kale. I feel so amazing good adding leafy greens back into my eating plan.
9. Watching Drop Dead Diva. So addicting.
10. Reading for pleasure. I can't wait to share some of my reading with you all.
What's on your list?

Have a magical day!

---
Being inspired by this book.
I am really loving this blog, these days. Oh and this one, too.
Some reading for a lazy summer day.
Pinterest. Yep, I'm there and loving it.

Shine On

2011-08-14T15:47:00.000-07:00

Source: paintedpath.org via Tracy on Pinterest

Shine on, shine on. There'll be time enough for darkness before everything's gone. Shine on, shine on.There is work to be done in the dark before dawn.
-"Shine On" by Daisy May Erlewine

---
tonight
a little music +
some legs against the wall
= the perfect way to end a busy weekend
& refresh

Hope your upcoming week is full of sweet surprises and blessings.

peace,

The habit of being

2011-08-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

Source: iamblessed.tumblr.com via Caitlin on Pinterest

Sometimes, there are post that will sit in your stomach and only venture to crawl up your tongue when ready. I feel like this is such a post. There is so much to say and then there are places that words can never touch.

If you have been reading this blog, you know that these past few months have been slightly challenging for me. It has been hard to hold my perspective, to feel like myself and to let go. This is a natural human response, I suppose and it has reshaped me.

What I mean is that I am not the same as when I started writing about my transitional phase a few months ago. Yes, some circumstances have changed, many for the better but also I have changed. Yes, I still look the same, have the same sense of humor and zest for life but I feel like I've been through something indescribable. I am not sure the lesson because I am still in the midst of transformation. However, I can feel my heart turning.

The truth is none of my worse fears came true. I am taken care of and I have more than enough. I started this journey out of graduate school with such fear and trepidation. Instead it has truly been much easier than I thought it would be. However, I have lived in lack and fear and that has unhinged and shadowed things for the last few months.

I am not saying I have what I want but I do not lack what I need. So, I have not understood my emotions and I may never. However, I have seen how fear can freeze and exhaust me from doing the good work that needs to be done.

It is like the scales are falling from my eyes and I starting to believe and live in the truth: I have many good things to offer this world. This truth does not dismiss the darkness but instead it fans the light.

I believe truly that we all carry in us this inexhaustable, unrelenting light. I say this because when we believe we have something to offer, it opens us up. This world is full of darkness and sometime, our lives veer there and that is okay for a bit.

However, we have to get in the habit of believing that we are put here to do great things. More importantly, we have to get in the habit of gathering the kindling and reaching towards light.

Unfolding

2011-08-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

Life these past few days has been a mix of amazing and resistance. Amazing because I really got to spend time with some wonderful people and resistance because some things are just not coming together.

Yesterday, I really felt that resistance. It weighed heavy on my mind and spirit. I was just out of it.Then I visited with some really wise spiritually grounded folk and felt my soul renewed. Like me, these people are striving to live out their lives for the greater good and not always sure what that needs to look like.

In addition, I saw one of my mentors and just felt refreshed by her wisdom and love. Her life is illuminating and inspiring. This is truly someone who lives out her call. I know that I can and am learning so much from her example.

What I know is sometimes it{life} feels like a shot in the dark. I have really wondered about what I was doing and where I need to go and it just makes me more confused. Confusion tends to make me resistant and tired.

Right now, I am thinking about all the things I have to be grateful for and the list is long. I don't thing gratitude takes away problems but I do think it gives my life air. This morning my friend reminded to look for God's good work in everything. That feels like a tall order.

However, at any moment I can change my perspective. I can take it one step and one day at time. I recently ran into a quote. To sum the quote up, fear is always there but we don't always have to react to it.

So, the challenge these days is to unfold from resistance and open to grace and the goodness all around me. For truly, it is hard to shine when you are folded down.

P.S. Check out my friend M's band. I love these ladies.

Peace,

Kiddie Lessons

2011-08-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

For a while, I'm in the 'burbs with my good friend and her adorable family. I had forgotten how entertaining kids can be. I don't even know why people with kids have t.v. Seriously they are full enough of comedy and drama.

Source: None via keishua on Pinterest

Here's some lessons I am learning from the little ones.

1. You can get excited about anything. Things like cereal, doors, pillows, spoons, cards, etc. are seriously entertaining to the little ones. Kids are natural savors of the ordinary.

2. Follow the wonder. Part of being easily entertained by anything means that you are following your curiosity at anytime. You can completely discover new games and worlds just by being open.

3. A good pair of p.j. can make anything all better. You never know when you will need to bust out the pajamas. Make sure yours are awesome.

What are some ways, you like to get in touch with your inner-kiddo?

That's all I got. Now, I'm off for a little time in the kiddie pool.

Right Back Here

2011-07-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

It feels so good to be right back here on the blog. I confess, I am not the best at taking sabbaticals but I did the best I could and it was fruitful. Any amount of intentional quiet and stillness is helpful. I am still at a loss to describe the experience but it was much better than I envisioned. The thing is so much of life is about what's under the surface and sometimes, you come face-to-face with that under the surface self. You see your brokenness but you also see your amazing heart.

P.S. I have a super busy week ahead with lots of meetings and interviews. If you don't care, keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Peace,

Quiet

2011-07-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

I am feeling quiet these days.
Quiet is good.
Because it let's you fall into yourself
and out of who you think you are.
So, I'm
Taking a wee digital sabbatical to cultivate stillness.
It's really a last minute decision, so I am curious how
it will play out. See ya after the 25th.
---
Loving this post about dating.
This is a great post about taking care of your writer self.
Are you interested in health and reading. Join this virtual book club

Trust

2011-07-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

Trust:

That you are loved.

That you are held.

That everyday magic is happening.

Trust:

In your dreams.

In the ground beneath your feet.

In the cry of your heart.

Trust:

Words are enough.

Laughter always carries hope.

Your hands are fumbling towards grace.

A Learning List: Three Things

2011-07-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

"I'm hungry for a juicy life. I lean out my window at night and I can taste it out there, just waiting for me." — Brigid Lowry

I am still in the midst of moving. Lol...I know it's taking forever.
I was not going to write until I got all settled and "perfect" and then I decided that was silly.
Life will never be perfect and waiting until it is to do anything will leave ME waiting forever.
There is so much I want to say but I can hardly find the words.
So below are Three Things I am learning these days. I think they sum up things nicely.

Three Things/ A Learning List

1) Kindness happens. I have the strangest incidents of kindness lately. Text and calls out of the blue, friendly people at the store or just smiling faces on the street. It has really been so amazing. It has really just humbled and soften my heart. Thank you kind people!!

2) Trust your gut. I love this story that Kim shared abut doing just that. What are you thoughts on following your gut?

3) My Life is my Art. Yesterday, I was bemoaning the fact that I can't seem to create a "great work of art" and then I started thinking... I don't want to create art with a capital A but live an artful life. That doesn't need to look a certain way but feel a certain way. Living artfully is about creating but not necessarily things.

For instance, the other day, I created the most beautiful meal for a friend, we talked about what was on our hearts and then we went out an had an amazing drive around the city. It was a simple and artful because on some level living with attention, grace and love is an ART.

The ironic thing is that recently I wrote about this for Yoga G33K's Yoga and Art Book. There is a link on the side bar of her website for your downloading pleasure. It was so amazing when I got my copy and saw the title of my article. Don't you love that!! It was like I was living out what I already knew!!

Happy weekend!

Shifts in a Life Song

2011-06-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country." ~Anaïs Nin

So, the shift is coming. I am seeing that in the midst of everything there is always a spark of light, a touch of humor. Everything changes, everything shifts...

I just want do the same...go with the flow, fire my dreams and shift to the present.

Today, I felt my friend's baby move under my hand. This baby, which was not even imaginable a year ago, was shifting under my hand, warm with life. I am like that baby: full of potential,made to grow, to shift towards the light.

Even when where I am is impossible, I must be mindful that moment by moment where I am is changing. Life is a continual birthing process, new experience breeding life but it also causing a process of dying to the old. Even if I am feeling vulnerable, I can take heart that at my essence, I am limitless. I am shifting each moment, to be where I need to be.

---
If you are interested in YA literature, check out my friend, J's blog. She's a reading machine.
Oh, I will be moving , unpacking, etc, so I will be away from the blog world for a bit. Not too, long.

Until then,

Three Things That Matter...

2011-06-28T06:10:00.000-07:00

"In the end, just three things matter:
How well we have lived
How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go"
~Jack Kornfield

Be Patient

2011-06-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions”~Rainer Maira Rilke

I hope your weekend was quite sweet. This word is popping up a lot in my life: Patience. Honestly, I have always felt waiting was burdensome. Now I see that it can be a rich experience, if I let it transform me. Who will I be on the other side of this waiting? Who will you be?

What question(s) are you living today?

Random thoughts:Happiness by Another Name

2011-06-24T05:29:00.000-07:00

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore

Yesterday, I was walking home from the library after a late evening meeting. As I started towards my apartment, a slight breeze touched my on my face and I felt it.

It was not exhilarating or earthshaking but it was there...joy. It is true that these emotions are fleeting and I shouldn't be swept away by them. However, it's nice to have the breeze on my face and grin in my heart. Sometimes, I feel like it's too long since, I've been really free in a moment. Joy is like a cartwheel in your soul. It kicks you alive.

I want to make a point each day to touch this joy. I don't need to know what it will look like or its parameters. I just need it there like a kiss between lovers on ordinary day, so sacred and wondrous.

I hope this weekend is full of wonder and joy for you.

Enough: Some Thoughts on Letting Go

2011-06-23T05:30:00.000-07:00

I've been reading "the poem, Enough" by David Whyte over and over again these day.

I have been thinking about my own resistance to life and how much resistance cuts us from enjoying what is in front of us.Sometimes I think, if I can resist uncomfortable situation then I won't be uncomfortable but that is not the truth.

I have often liken my resistance to wrestling with God because to resist where you are is to to rebel, to be hateful to the moment and to be hateful to creation. To me, resistance feels like you are at odds with the world, with every breathe. So, this poem, this word, "Enough" keeps popping up. Enough resisting. Enough warring against the moment. Feeling and being in a moment can be uncomfortable but I have to take heart that life is a rolling stone, it's always moving.

Today, where can you say "enough" and let go?

---

Enough

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.
Until now

-David Whyte, Where Many Rivers Meet

The Frugal Yogini Files: Quick and Easy Yoga

2011-06-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

These days, I am cutting expenses and that means no yoga studio time unless I catch a community{aka free} day at a local studio. In the meantime, I need to sustain a yoga practice.

Don't get me wrong, I love home practice but it can be hard to get into a groove. I think that a good home practice should have a mix of video, audio, book, magazine and online resources.Not to mention just free flowing on the mat, when the need arises. Otherwise, you are liable to be bored to death.

So, I will be doing some exploring of simple and cheap practice tools. Now, I don't recommend you just start home practicing without having at least going to some yoga classes or checking with your health provider.
---

As usual, I have been falling out of the groove of in my home practice. On a recent trip to the library, I picked up Quick and Easy Yoga by Christina Brown. Practicing with a book can be super frustrating because of the book spine. However, each sequence in this book is super short-four to five poses. If the sequences were longer, I am not sure it would work. Also, I would recommend reading through the sequence beforehand to have an general idea and then glancing at the book to keep on track.

This morning, I did the "Morning Activator Invigorating" sequence and it was just what I needed. It is a mesh of bent leg planks and child's pose. There are also short sequences for the night, moods,random places and afternoons.

I would recommend this book for a beginner, someone trying to build a home practice, a busy bee or someone super stressed. I think that it has enough simple but mood enhancing for those groups. I don't think anyone who likes a vigorous workout would get much from this book.

What's your favorite quick and easy mood lifter?

Small Pleasures:Trips to the Public Library

2011-06-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

When I got my library card, that's when my life began. ~Rita Mae Brown

First, I want to say: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind thoughts on my last post. I am truly blessed to have you all as my friends!
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I have always had a soft spot for the public library. As a child, I would often wait at our local branch for my Mom to come for me after school. During that time, I would fall over with glee exploring. I think this is when I become a book dabbler. I love picking up a wide-array of topics and then puttering slowly through the pages of each book.

Over the years, I have developed a habit of being a library patron. There have been times when I have been a forgetful patron {hello, fines!} but mainly I have been faithful. Personally, I am still a sucker for a stack of books but I also like to get music and sometimes, it's just nice to sit and stare out the window.

What's your favorite public space?

One Step and a Hungry Heart

2011-06-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

"Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are."
— Marianne Williamson

The thing is life is not a bowl of cherries over here. It is actually really frustrating. My job search has netted a lot of interviews and no job. It is really hard not to take to personally. I realize that the competition is stiff and considering how many interviews, I have netted I am doing something right. However, interviews do not fill one's bank account.

The truth is I hate worrying about money. Okay, if I am honest I hate worrying about anything. Worrying ages you and makes you desperate. Still, I am frustrated and dishearten.

So, what does this have to do about joy? Very little it seems. However, joy is something that is deep under the surface of a situation. Joy is not about the situation. It is about you and your perspective. My thought now is how to not fall too deep in grief and take heart that this is a temporary situation. That feels really hard and out of my league.

The thing is I've always believed on some level that everything can be worked for my good. I know, that is so church of me. However, it has proven true for most of life. So, I am literally at a standstill emotionally. Things are not Good but everything is always worked for my Good.

I suppose this is illogical optimism. I am well-aware that many people never get what they want or need. So, how do I grapple with that?

Since, I am no philosopher or theologian, all I can do is work towards what I want and pray that it happens. One some level, I will always believe life start with one step and a hungry heart.

There is a room

2011-06-17T09:24:00.000-07:00

I think there is a room

A place

To set free

All your dreams

I imagine this space

Mundane expect

For the sparkle in your eye

When you come to it

At your desk

In the park

Behind the incense

It seems impossible

That there could be more than

One word on life

But there is

There is a room

For your story

Your pictures

Your rants

Even your half-heated sighs

Take your dreams from your

Notebook

Climb the night

Gather your heart

There is a light on in this room

I"ll be waiting for your signal

Then, I'll kiss the air

With these words

Rainy Days

2011-06-16T08:32:00.001-07:00

Rainy days can be delicious.
There are a few things one should try to have on hand for these times.

A good book.
Some sweet tunes.
Something to scribble in.
A strong cup of tea.
Oh, someone or something to curl up on.

What's your rainy day formula?

Small Pleasures: A Happy List

2011-06-15T06:27:00.000-07:00

The happy heart runs with the river, floats on the air, lifts to the music, soars with the eagle, hopes with the prayer-Maya Angelou

Lately, I have been practicing gratitude. I try to make a list every day at WE LOVE GRATITUDE or in my journal. I'm telling you that it can do wonders for your day. My happy list is sort of an arm of my gratitude list. Below are things that are making me happy as of late. Nothing major, just regular lovely stuff!

My Happy List
-Writing daily. I have been doing my morning pages with regularity. It has fired up my inner writer.

- Slow food. Cooking your own food can be so amazing and therapeutic.

- Painting. I have been doing some creative art journaling lately.I pulled my old paints out and went to work.

-Being bold. I am trying to say hi and greet everyone{with regards to safety}. It is so refreshing to me. I hate passing people and not acknowledging they are there. So, I am trying not to be that way.

-Bringing yoga to life. I mean taking what I have learned over these years off the mat. Breathing through difficult situations, having self-compassion and honoring the moment are all things that have really helped me these past few weeks.

-Reading. I have long been a vivacious reading and lately I've been coming back to my first love aka the book. I can't wait to share some of my reads with you all!

-Encouraging others. Our words are so powerful and we can be so careless with them. I try to at least sometimes direct my words for uplift of others. I think it makes a difference.

-Realizing "it" is possible. "It" is harmony, love and acceptance. I was recently hanging out with a group of random people. These were people from all different people groups, colors and beliefs but what united them was kindness. They were truly some of the most welcoming people I have met. It was six hours of heaven on earth. I think that is how we are meant to live. Only, we can make it a reality.

What's making you smile today?

P.S. The needlepoint in picture 1 was done by Roo Calhoun.

On Running~the Incubation

2011-06-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I had a small running and walking practice that nurtured my life and body. I miss being

active in this way. My feet on the pavement or trails have always had an amazing effect on my mind and body.

Also, for years I have been subscribing to a running magazine. Years! This year my subscription is up and I am not renewing because I really have not been putting this information to any use. I don't want to live vicariously, when I don't have to.

My goal is simple. My end aim is to run for about 30-45 minutes a day. Nothing fancy or too strenuous. I am not looking to be fast or train for anything. I just want to enjoy the journey of getting to know my mind and body in this new way.

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Tools for the journey

-A schedule. It is as hot as dickens around here. So I am thinking early morning or late afternoons for runs.

-Walk/run practice. This is probably one of the most effective ways for non-runners to become runners. When, I was running a few years ago, I did a walk/run practice and it was super beneficial.

-Wellness/Running notebook or log.

-shoes. I will be using my barely used tennis shoes until I have proved a commitment.

-Inspiration. I love reading Runner's World. Plus, I will be reading online articles{like this}and blogs.

-A buddy. My friend J. runs. Might arrange a few running dates each month.

-Motivation. This is the big one. How do I actually get out of my bed/couch/bum and run? Right now, my biggest motivation is stress relief. I think it will evolve as times goes by or maybe not. Stress relief is a legit and wonderful motivation.

-Yoga for runners. I would really like to have a marriage between the two practices. So, I will be researching yoga and running a lot. From what, I've heard doing yoga can make one a better runner.

-Music. Songs can be arrange by tempo for a very effective practice. This could help with evolving from walking to running.

-Starting. All take and no action will not likely get me very far. So, onward I go. Today, I took a two mile walk, tomorrow, I'll add some jogging into my walk and there we go.

Do you have any advice on starting a new exercise? Or any running specific advice?

On Baking

2011-06-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

If we can't, as artists, improve on real life, we should put down our pencils and go bake bread.
— Barbara Kingsolver

I confess that I am always surprised to find myself at the oven doing anything.

I have always considered myself a mediocre baker but lately it seems, I've gotten better. In the past, my baking has resulted in gooey dough but lately it's really scrumptious. The ingredients have not changed but my approach had. This weekend, I had such a blast baking with T. and K. and going to an international student potluck and making cookies. So, much dough, so much love.

In the past, an day in the kitchen would have bored me to tears. I would slap my ingredients together with little care. These days, I am more apt to bake in an intentional way. Below are some tidbits, I've honed from the journey.

Key Lime Tarts made with T. and K.

1. Pay attention. In my experience, I need to read the recipe a few times before I dive in. Trust, me knowing the flow of a recipe can save you a lot of grief. Once, I was making a almond butter cake and needed to separate the egg whites and yolks but did not realize this until much too, late. Needless, to say nobody got any cake that night.So, read the instructions and pay attention to the flow.

2. Gather. Searching through your cabinets for missing ingredients can be distracting. After, reading the recipe I like to bring all my ingredients and tools to my work station. Plus, you know, if you are out of an ingredient. Finding out in the middle of executing a recipe that you are out of something is not so terrible but it can result in something unsavory under your nose.

3.Measure carefully. Baking is really a science. Precise measurements typically mean good results.

T. and her homemade "dollies".

4. Don't be afraid to break the rules. I know, this seems strange{after what I just said} but you can break some rules for substitutes. However, research before you do. You often can substitute dairy products but depending on the recipe, there are specific ways to sub.

5. Ask and share. For the longest time, making bread was a challenge for me. Then, I mentioned this to my friend, J. We had a few bread baking dates and I got the hang of it. Plus, I got to bond with my friend on a deep level as we baked.

6. Trust. When your prepping for baking it can feel crazy to think that some flour, butter and milk can become anything but it can. Sure you may have to tweak, prepare and even start over a few times. Don't give up. Trust that even if the outcome is less than perfect, you can gain something useful from the experience of baking.

J's pizza

Recalling my baking journey has reminded me how anything is possible. More importantly, as Kim reminded me baking is a great metaphor for life. It can get messy, you may need to knead it for a while, let things incubate and go through the fire.However, if you use good ingredients and prepare your dough with care, it's more than likely to rise.

What's your favorite baking memory?

sometimes, it's okay

2011-06-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

sometimes you know
that it will be the day
that you can step out on limb
that what you have buried in the ground will come forth

sometimes you live with your hands open
giving and receiving
doing and being
feeling and thinking

sometimes your tears are your comforter
your friend
your angle
your motivator

sometimes you can't understand it at all
but you stand to do
whatever it is
because you must

sometimes, you fail
hard and publicly
softly and at your desk
in the corner of the room

sometimes, you fly
from the corner
get back in your chair
and put your pen to work

sometimes, you remember everything wrong
crying in bath
but sometimes you recall
miracles in the last breath

sometimes, you will look back on ordinary
days that seems endless
full of work and waiting
for the other shoe to drop

sometimes, you will look back on ordinary
days that seems endlessly
full of possibility
with confidence and knowing

sometimes, you are not alone
sometimes, you have generations lifting your hands
sometimes, your friends are your heart's wings
sometimes, it's okay.

A Mindful Heart: Thoughts on Kindness

2011-06-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. -Mark Twain

Naomi Shihab Nye wrote a wonderful poem about kindness that I keep going back and rereading these days. On some level, she and my own heart have convicted me of how tightly that I am hanging on to myself. I am not saying I'm done with following my needs and wants but rather I am mindful. I am mindful that it's okay to hold other's in my heart, that I can drop my story and the world will keep spinning. Lately, I have become so saturated in myself. I am really just tired of the L show being on 24/7. More importantly, I am becoming convinced that kindness to myself and others is one of the greatest gifts, I can give this world.

Simple Thoughts on Kindness

1. Kindness is about what's in front of You. Who in your family and immediate friend-zone need a ear or hand? Offer to cook lunch for a friend struggling financially or call a relative you haven't talked to in a while.

2. Kindness is about Hospitality. How can you make the world more hospitable for those in need? Can you donate something-money, time, materials? How can we be more welcoming to those who are strangers? I have lived in my building for over two years. However, a few weeks ago, was the first time I really connected with my neighbors. It was an amazing and joyful thing to get to know these kind souls. However, it all begin with a smile in the hall.

3. Kindness is about taking care of the Earth. This can be a hard pill to swallow for many people. It may require looking at what you eat, wear, how you spend your money and even where you live.

4. Kindness is about Generosity. It is easy to give out of surplus but much harder to give when there's not a surplus. The truth is I am willing to give a few minutes if my time once for anything but a weekly commitment feels burdensome. So, I think things other than weekly commitments be included in ways I can generous. It can be as simple as letting someone go in front of me in line or pushing the cart to a mother's car so that her toddler doesn't run into the street.

5. Kindness is about the little Things. Sometimes, a smile makes someone's day, or a hand-written card or even a email. On some level, we all want to know that we matter. Sending tendrils of care out into the world can be just what a wounded heart needs.

What do you think about kindness and how do you try to live it out in your life?

Go Confidently

2011-06-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

Bring the past only if you are going to build from it.-Doménico Cieri Estrada

Last night, I was doing some painting and rummaging through my art supplies.

I stumbled upon a few artifacts from the past. These artficats included: a picture of me at a friends "photo"shoot, a picture from my time in Wyoming, a lovely correspondence from a kind nun and a quote by Thoreau.

The quote and the artifacts struck me because they reminded me that I have been in similar situations of "stuckness" and emerged. It's never been perfect this emerging but it's always been good. I can have faith and doubt and still possess the confidence to take the next step{waiting , perching or leaping}.Moreover, all these artifacts represent encounters that have shaped me and built my heart for this very moment.

What's giving you confidence these days?

Hello Life

2011-06-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

First, I want to apologize for my sporadic blogging schedule. Lately, things have been crazy and my life schedule has been a little strange.

Anyway, today I am here. I've just finished going through a bunch of my art supplies. I found an amazing day planner from 2010 with hardly any of it's pages used. So I'm reclaiming it as a collage/creative journal.

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Otherwise, I am in the midst of a frustrating situation. You know how those are, right? What do you do during frustrating times?

I am thinking there is only do much I can do. Everyday, I come at life with the best of me(or I try to). In the meantime, I'm enjoying the small pleasures: tomatoes with salt, conversations with friends, NPR and walks. Oh and I'm snapping a few pictures of pretty things here and there. Hope you enjoy my latest from these past few weeks.

pics 1 and 2 are from magazines. Two is from skirt and I am unsure of 1{if you know, let me know}. Four is a part of a display I saw at World Apart.

Some Thoughts on Getting Lost

2011-06-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

You've got to think about big things while you're doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.-A. Toffler

Lately, I am finding that the paths that I have set out in front in me are not stable.

Sometimes, the roads disappears. Sometimes, I have to be reset my internal gps, venture outside my preferred locales or take a different road altogether. Sometimes, I miss turn-offs, exits, or destinations and it is hard not to be overwhelmed with fear and anxiety in these moments.

However, when I think to my life objectives, I am able to see all these sidesteps, looping and path changes as part of a larger picture.
---
Last night, I was talking with a friend about all the amazing things that have "happened" over the past two and a half years. Things that felt like coincidences or detours but have now become the cornerstones of my life, I am amazed. We can't truly plan our lives.

Instead, daily it comes down to living with an intent. In yoga practice, the teacher often asks you to set an intention for your practice. Some days, it maybe to be still, to be present, to be love, etc. This intent informs your practice and works itself out in your time on the mat.
----
Life intent works similarly.It helps you remember and reconnect with your goals. It is that internal guidepost that let's you know when you've reach the a "bedrock" of truth.

I feel like I am searching for a "bedrock" of truth these days. I am driving in mad circles, looping around and getting lost. However, sometimes, I look ahead and the sign points in the direction of home. As I head towards home, the path appears. One step at a time, I am making it come alive but only by living it.

Happy Weekend!

Writing bag, blog award, etc.

2011-05-31T06:23:00.000-07:00

To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make. -Truman Capote

I hope that your weekend was quite lovely. My was lovely and restful.
This weekend, I finished reading a book called the Wednesday Sisters.
It was a lovely book about a group of women coming to voice through writing.
It is set against the backdrop of social change.

After reading the book, I decided to create a little writing bag to grab and take with outside or to my kitchen table(whichever). I have been wanting to write more and this novel planted a little fire in my belly. The truth is there little excuse not to be scribbling a little each day. It makes me feel good, it's a good use of the mind and I have a ton of empty notebooks begging to be used. So, I decided to gather my supplies and dedicate a bag to the venture. My writing bag is simple. It includes:
*A notebook
*Some inspiring pictures
* Chap stick
* Note cards
*Little box for pencils, pens, note-cards,etc.
*Something to drink

Do you have a writing bag or ritual?
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Thanks to Grace over at the Wild Pomegranate, for giving me this lovely blog award.

I having such a hard time choosing who to pass it to. I think each of you deserve it. So, many good blogs. Instead, I'm going to shout out about some blogs I'm loving lately. 1)Lovely and Imperfect 2)A Certain Simplicity 3)Rach.Mad.Love . Check them out and enjoy!

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P.S. I'm looking for some good fiction books. Do you have any recommendations?

Have a sweet day.

Small Pleasures:My Blue Yoga Mat

2011-05-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

If you bring forth what is within you, what youbring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what iswithin you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you. Gospel of Thomas.

I wrote my first yoga poem a few years ago.

It was about doing yoga on my blue mat

in the center of my kitchen.

At the time, I lived in a sweet

apartment in a very small town. There was one yoga studio and I

think it had closed down. At the time, I was living hand to mouth and

really had no resources to go to a yoga class, anyways. So, for two years my yoga consisted of

home practice, videos from the library, sequences from yoga magazines and conversations with the two yogis I knew in town.

It was in that time, in that kitchen, on that blue mat, yoga got practical and personal for me.

At heart, I am practical person and I know that I would not have survived that two years of extrememe finacial insecurity and isolation without that little blue mat{and my friends, esp. J.}.

The thing is a mat is an intimate object. It won't come to life but you bring your life to the mat and let it dance there. I've fallen apart on that mat, cried, meditated, done Pilates, lent it out, etc. It has withstood a lot of use, misuse and neglect. Despite it all, it still folds and supports me. I could not ask for more.

So, I wrote a ode to that mat, to that that moment because it centered my life.

I no longer have the poem. I think I tossed it away in a fit of cleaning but the feeling of gratitude remains in me.

What small pleasure is centering you, these days?

What I already know

2011-05-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." — May Sarton

Yesterday was a strange day. I felt a little lost. I went outside for a little walk and reading to clear my mind. Then I got down to writing. In writing, I found myself(for the moment). There were many strong emotions flowing through my body but underneath it all was love. Even in times of fear, heartbreak or uncertainty there it stands. Love comes in many forms. Lately, for me love is about paying attention to this life. It's about cradling goodness close and not turning from heartache.Today, I want to remind myself of what I already know.

-It's okay to be happy.
-It's good to wander.
-Honor your feelings.
-Passion is needed.
-Practice feeds your life.
-Turning cartwheels keeps you playful.
-Red shoes + sun = adventure.

-Ask for help.
-Cheering for others can cheer you up.
-Love comes in many forms.
-Kindness can change the world.
-Write like it matters because it does.
-If you know it your bones, it just might be true.
-Be awesome.
-You are never alone.

What do you need to remind yourself of today?

Digging In

2011-05-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

"Tending our stories mean that our lives must open if we are to live in the mystery;our ways of hiding, no matter how subtle, must relax open if we are to be"- Mark Nepo

Finally, the sun is out! I am trying to capture this Kentucky spring in all its deliciousness.
Truthfully, I love the trees around these part. Every time, I've think I've seen the best one and then another one appears even more beautiful.
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These past few weeks have been intense. I feel like I am going in ten directions. In order, to effectively do things I need to have a mind that is not rash and full of compassion.
One meditation that helps cultivate compassion for ourselves is a loving kindness mediation. Every teacher teaches it a little different but the gist is the same. This is a good version.
---
I've check out Grub:Ideas for An Urban Organic Kitchen from the library and am feeling inspired. I got to try out a few things on my friend Nat when she came for a visit. Currently, trying to "finding a non-sweet buttermilk squash recipes. Any ideas? What's your favorite cookbook or recipe?
---
Thanks for your suggestions about cultivating an attitude of enough in your life. I am going to try the gratitude journal. I might make it into a one sentence journal.

Happy Day!

Small Pleasures: Homestuff

2011-05-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

Design is an opportunity to continue telling the story, not just to sum everything up.— Tate Linden

I am one of those people who spends a lot of time gawking at home goods. I can spend hours pouring over a west elm catalog or cruising for the perfect mug.

In theory, it really does not matter what we have in our home but in practice, it matters. It matters a lot. I am all for simple, beautiful and practical things. If it has been re-purposed {by yours truly} all the better!

Alas, sometimes window, shopping is one of my favorite modes of inspiration.
The other day, I was on etsy and ran across a few things that I could easily imagine in my apartment. Sadly, my wallet does not agree. Le sigh!

This look teapot would be nice to have for teatime.

Gathering friends and family around this table seems like a good idea.

A long day's work deserves a towel like this.

Truth be told, I am sucker for a nice set of windows. My current apartment has three large windows in the living area. The windows look out onto a "field"/playground and they look under a few lovely trees. Those trees are some of my favorite things in the whole world. I can keep time and seasons by them. Plus, I love sitting at the table working or having tea with someone and looking out into that wonder.

What's your favorite thing about your home(besides the sweet people who occupy it with you)?

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Everything doesn't have to be new. You can always use what you have{or what someone else doesn't want} in new ways.

For some cool upcyling clothes ideas check here.

100 amazing upcyling ideas here.

A good definition of upcycling here.

A good article about design from my sheros, bell hooks

Have a sweet day!

Living in Enough

2011-05-17T05:47:00.000-07:00

I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle." — Thich Nhat Hanh

Lately, I have been thinking about how to cultivate compassion and gratitude in my life. I have been feeling a little whiny and ragged. So, I am embarking on this project to notice my life.

One of the ruts, I have fallen into lately is a mix of disinterest and acedia. Acedia is state of listlessness with spiritual overtones. Personally, my acedia is often prompted when I feel in competition with myself and the "ideal" me. When I am in this trance, nothing is enough, everything is full of lack and reaping of dissatisfaction.

The truth is I don't think my life is very exciting but it is very rich and full of goodness. I sometimes forget that as I hurry from one "BIG" thing to the next. I am losing sight of the small things that support me. It is like I am so busy chasing life, that I can't live it.

There is a trick that I learned from Julie Cameron about getting small. In the Artist's Way Cameron writes, "The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention." So, one of the most effective ways of dealing with disinterest is to cultivate interest one breath at a time.

Getting small cultivates our love for our lives. Noticing what is and being grateful is a blessing. So many times we want more and we don't recognize we have enough. Enough is not a lack. Something in our culture tells us that we need more than enough to be okay. Not true. So, I on a quest to pay attention, to celebrate this ordinary life and live it with my eyes wide (well, as wide as they can be).

Eventually, I want to greet my acedia with kindness and acceptance. Right now, I am avoiding it or pretending like is does not exist. Acting this way literally splits my mind and disengages me from life. It is no wonder that I am feeling so disconnected. However, there is no reason to judge or blame, all we have is this moment. That's why meditation and yoga{and the Psalms} are so important. Not because they provide an escape but they give you tools to work with the mind.Truthfully, whatever arises can be but underneath it all is enough.

What are your thoughts on having enough?

Untitled

2011-05-16T16:24:00.000-07:00

Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends. ~Virginia Woolf

Just a saying a quick hello. I hope this Monday is treating you well. I was planning on writing about my camping trip but the words would not flow. It happens. Anyway, I am posting a page from my camping "scrapbook". I hope you enjoy it.

My good friend Nat. is coming to visit me for the week. Thus,I have to go make me apartment friendly for other people. I will catch you around here later. Peace.

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This sound drawing makes me happy.
This blog has lot of great articles but I like this one, especially.
A really sweet yoga blog here.

Weekending in the Woods

2011-05-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes. -Author Unknown

pic

So, I am going camping for the first time in six years this weekend.
Let's be honest, I'm not really a camping girl.

Don't get me wrong, I love being outside but not really at night.
We are going to Indiana and it's always sweet there in the spring. At the very least it will be pretty.
Plus, portobello burgers, good friends and wine can make anything cozy.
Have a lovely weekend!

Small Pleasures: A Summer List

2011-05-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

*This post has been republished due to the blogger platform crash.

I think it is technically still spring but it is starting to feel a lot like summer.
Summer is often one of the few times that I have the focus and energy to really get cooking in life and on the stove. Here's my summer list(as of today).

-Try out a few recipes this summer from my favorite cookbooks
-Get outside a lot.
- Find a new job and apt
-Get rid/donate over 1/2 of my stuff
-Make a pair of denim cut-offs
-Do some form of yoga everyday
-Plant some micro-greens
-Avoid kissing Frogs
-Knit a shawl or bag. Can't decided. A bag may be more doable with my skill level
-Eat fresh peaches from the farmer's market
-Consume fried green tomatoes and ice tea together and without apology
-See what I can reasonably do on my life list
-Read like it's going out of style. I have a a huge stack of books waiting for my nose to be poked in them
-Can something. I have all these mason jars, I should put them to use
-Take one picture every day, as a way of noticing and cultivating appreciation
-Dance a little, summer is great for that

What's on your summer list?
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I am super excited, I won a stack of photos from one of my favorite bloggers.Yes, I am downright thrilled.

I'm dreaming about the day I can have one of these. I am thinking it would be much easier to buy a window farm than make my own. Just sayin.

Have you been to ABC creativity? Andrea has some sweet things cooking. I love her journaling ideas.

My current favorite pose: Threading the Needle.

Walking in this World

2011-05-08T20:18:00.000-07:00

Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow. ~Henry David Thoreau

I have such great memories of walking the Piney Woods of East Texas with my grandmother. Often, we would follow a patch of woods until we stumbled upon a creek. Then we would sit a spell or pull out our fishing poles and try for a catfish. These city walks are bit different but they still have the same elements of movement, stillness and communion.

Walking has always provided me with a space to grapple with thoughts. Lately, some of my resistance to my yoga mat has been rising. This resistance is a teachable moment.

Sometimes, I think I take things too seriously. I have been on this road before when I am making things way too, serious. This tends to leave me feeling dry and disappointed. Moreover, I tend in these moments to be making an idol of activity. Sometimes, I think doing something will make me okay. So, I stress myself to be the best at it. My spirit know this routine and is resistance to following that path again.

I have to not try so hard to embody an ideal. Instead, I need to accept that I am not a sage but a mere mortal. It's okay not to have an ideal practice.

One foot in front of the other, these truths rise. I can not grasp at perfection. I have to loosen my grip and greet this moment with an open hand.

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In other news, I am obsessed with taking pics. I use to be a yearbook nerd back in the day. So, all this picture taking is making me super happy. Yeah!

I want to see this movie.

I think I am going to try to make this soon. It will check off one item on my life list.

Have a sweet Monday!

photos taken with hipstamatic and edited with labelbox and dipstic

Curious Life: Scenes from the Week

2011-05-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

Curiosity is little more than another name for Hope.-Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare

This was a super sweet week. Thought, I would display some of my favorite pics from the week. Most of these were taken around town and at a local yarn shop.

This weekend one of my good friends is coming into town. I will be joining her and my Lexvegas Man bestie for a little celebration.

Personally, I hope there will be a lot of homemade sangria consumed to sing in the weekend. I am sure there will be lots of stories to tell and hearts to bare. Truthfully, I am blessed when it comes to friends{online and off}.

I hope you have a lovely weekend!

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A few weeks ago, I made this. It was incredible.
I am currently knitting a scrubber based on a pattern from here.
I've been into back bends these past few days. They are good for opening your heart. I can't seem to get enough of this one.
I am wondering at what age, do you stop getting little crushes? Hopefully, never.

P.S. The little itty bitty sock was done by my friend T. That's the proud owner's hand displaying her work.

Thursday Love

2011-05-05T05:50:00.000-07:00

"It's good to be just plain happy, it's a little better to know that you're happy; but to understand that you're happy and to know why and how and still be happy, be happy in the being and the knowing, well that is beyond happiness, that is bliss." — Henry Miller

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Finally, I haphazardly knitted a cozy for my mason jar. Hopefully, people will stop asking if there's moonshine in my mason. No, it isn't...in case you were wondering.

I am soooooo excited about this meditation cycle. If you are interested in meditation and self- renewal, you should join. Many people think meditation is about not thinking and that is not true. We are always thinking. Meditation is about not getting attached to those thoughts and catching yourself when you leave the present moment and returning back to your breathe(or mantra, etc). For some basic instruction, see here.

One of my favorite yoginis is on the new yoga journal.

Last night, I heard the most amazing podcast from Sounds True. It featured writer Natalie Goldberg. Hands down, Writing Down the Bones is one the best books that I have ever read and reread. The seeds of meditation and yoga were planted in my heart from this book.

Of course, the best thing was spending time with my Texas bestie knitting. T. I love love love you!!

What/who are you loving today?

Small Pleasures: Music

2011-05-04T09:39:00.000-07:00

Image by Jeff Howard via Flickr

Music is the poetry of the air. -Richter

Music is my life vein. I really can not imagine life with it. I use to have a secret fantasy of being a singer but I really am a little umm... tone death when it comes to my own singing. However, that has not hindered my love of music. Music has been a great companion to me over the years. It has opened me to many things and people. It is funny how simple things like lyrics and melody can crawl across hearts and time and unite us.

Lately, I have been listening to a lot of Donna De Lory. Thankfully, no one lives with me or they would want to break my ipod.Anyway, Donna De Lory reminds me of Madonna{another one of my favs}, with a touch of soul. I actually like to listen to her on my commute to and from work. So relaxing but up-tempo. A version of my favorite song is here.

Also, I am enjoying to this song by Goapele. Her Change It All is one of my favorite albums of all time. The album is political, hopeful and catchy...love it.

Below is another current favorite by A Fine Frenzy. I've been listening to this song a lot. Maybe, a little too, much. There is a time for everything isn't there? Plus, I am sucker for a piano.

Who are you listening to these days?

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This site is all about giving voice and ending street harassment.
Another reason to move to west coast.
One of my New favorites is over here.

pic

(IN)Sights

2011-05-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

Lately, a certain word has been floating around. It has pipped my attention. I am not certain what I will do with this word: relig-ish but it speaks deeply to what my life is trying to articulate.

It is always risky to be unorthodox. However, as any pilgrim knows there is time and place for everything-tradition and rebellion.

At the heart of it, it's about living. I mean really living, not going through the motions, not following your neighbor but radically opening to what is real.

It makes me happy to know that other people are traveling this road, too.
I think it is true, we are never alone. We just need to remember to light our love, so others can find us.

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Spending way too much time looking here.
It's really quite lovely over here!
Breakfast never looked so pretty.

P.S. The photos above are from this weekend. I think they sum things up nicely.

This Kind of Life

2011-05-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

World peace begins inside you-literally. In your body and mind. -Alica Silverstone.

Lately, I have not had much yoga talk on the blog. Honestly, I have been doing a fair amount of it in my daily life but I don't really have words for it.

All I know is:
*When I do twists, my eyes flood with tears,
*That when my heart aches, I like to lay in child's pose,
*That nothing makes me happier than doing a few rounds of king pigeon.
*Sitting in stillness makes me grateful.
*That I hope that I can offer and partake in the lessons of space, breath and love each day.
*That I have so much desire for a kinder world for us all. That I hope that by letting peace bubble up in me that I can in turn inspire that in others.
*How we live matters. It matter much more than what we profess to believe.

What's on your heart lately?

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I love this list about happiness.
The idea of Community Chalkboards
Oh and this cool musical concept

Happy and Grateful

2011-04-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.-Oprah

Moving forward {literally}.

I want to tell you the truth. This week has been a some kind of crazy whirlwind.
I am finishing up my master's degree. After 7 or so years of college, I am sooooooo happy to be at this point in my life. Yes, I still am confused about what I want to be when I grow up. However, I am glad to be getting my librarian wings.

At the very least, I have now have {official societal} permission to get a cat, have a bun and be a super nerd! If only, I could get paid to do just that! Today, I am approaching what I hope will be my last days of graduate work{but who knows}.

Naturally, there is a little of fear of flying. This economy is not stellar and there are hundred fears that stalk the mind. I will attend to those later. Now is the time to celebrate! Right now, I am happy and grateful.

What's making you happy today?

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

P.S. Pose of the day: happy baby.

Cheers,

Small Pleasures: Tea Time

2011-04-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

Tea...is a religion of the art of life. -Okakura

A couple of years ago, I worked at a jewelery shop. It was a small but lovely place ran by a husband and wife. Not only did they work at the shop but their apartment was right above it. So there was bit of stir-craziness circulating around the shop at times. Needless to say, things got a little crazy. However, no matter what S., my boss would make me a cup of tea in the afternoon. This ritual got embedded in my head and heart. Now, life feels a little "off " without a cup of tea.

These days, I am loving some black tea in the mornings. Usually it's English or Irish breakfast bags steeped for 5 minutes and touch of non-dairy creamer. If I am feeling ambitious I might have some loose black tea. For my afternoon cup(s), I am drinking white or green tea {loose teas}. They have less caffeine and taste great when flavored with fruit bits. If you are not a tea person, I hope you'll give it a wee chance! There is something in the ritual of waiting for kettle to boil and the tea to steep that makes the process quite lovely.

How to Brew the Perfect Cup of Tea {garnished from years of experience and tidbits over the years}

Bring fresh water to a rolling boil for oolong, black and herbal infusions.
For white, green and some oolongs bring the water to an almost boiling point.
With a teaspoon, measure one teaspoon of loose tea for each cup of tea desired.
Pour water over tea and let steep. Take strainer or bag out and let it cool to your desired temperature.
Savor and enjoy.

Some suggested steep times:
white teas-3 to 8 minutes *I do eight but I think otherwise the flavor is faint.
green teas-1 to 3 minutes *For a pure green tea, I step for a minute. Longer and it is too grassy.
oolong teas-1 to 5 minutes *3 minutes but you should to check the label.
black teas-3 to 5 minutes *5 and no longer. Otherwise, it gets bitter, in my opinion.
herbals infusion-3 to 5 minutes *I love rooibos, red tea/bush tea steeped for 7 minutes with honey and lemon.

Do you drink tea, if so what is your current favorite?

P.S. I am loving the tea shop in my neighborhood.
P.S.S. After sipping a cup, I love to curl up reading this blog.

Finding the Flow

2011-04-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.-Washington Irving

I am a firm believer in creating simple moments of grace even in the midst of great sadness, uncertainty and/or dreary weather. Life can assault my perspective, that's a truth. After days of grey skies, I know that I need a little sun and bit of rest.

The truth is if I let myself, I can easily be overcome with negativity and lounge in that place for unknown amounts times. I don't think there is anything wrong with negative emotions but that is never a place I want to stay. Negativity can light you on fire, if you let it. If am to be set on fire, by anything, I want it to be by love.

Below are some things I like to do find flow and kindle my heart.
Kindling List
-Make a cup of strong tea.
-Do some yoga. A gentle flow routine or a nice restorative practice can do wonders for the spirits.
-Admit I am deeply disappointed to my self or another person.
-Take a steamy shower or hot bath. Works wonders.
-Go for a walk or run.
-Read Pride and Prejudice. It's my go-to comfort book.Austen's wit always makes me laugh and remember that I, too am a witty and wonderful woman.
-Take one more small step in the direction of your dreams. Send out a query, return a call, etc.
-Call up a friend, who will let me vent my "true" feelings and not try to fix me.
-Water my plants.
-Do my mending.{Can you tell I love to tend! I can't help}
-Give to someone in need. Give money, time, stuff, etc.Paying attention to other's can create a ripple effect. One thing I love to do is let people out of side streets. I know that it is a pain to wait for the traffic to pass and it can create a ripple effect. The people behind you and in front of you are more likely to follow suit. Think about how your small acts of kindness counter the casually cruelty in the world. It's amazing.
-Sit on my zafu or towel(whatever you use) and follow my breath for 5 minutes.

No, these things won't cure me or put money in my bank account but they are spiritual well from which to draw. Sometimes, I need to draw from my reserves when I am overwhelmed or defeated. If I make a practice of drawing from my well, I can tap into my sense flow. Eventually, I hope the water will move from my mouth to nourish my whole body.

What do you do to get flowing?

P.S. Have you been to Rachel Maddox's blog. The woman is a genius! Go there and soak up her words.
P.S.S. Have I mentioned, how much I love this blog. I really do!

Returning to the Mat

2011-04-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.
— Joseph Campbell

This happens every time. I get really into my yoga practice and then nothing. It's like I've never heard of yoga.
Then my body starts reminding me of what I am forgetting. First, it starts in overeating here and there. Then my anxiety starts rearing its ugly head and before you know it, I'm a basket case.

Before, I go any further, I want to clarify. I don't think yoga makes your life perfect or takes away your problems. First of all, I think of yoga as bodily prayer. Secondly, like mental or verbal prayer, things may or may nor improve but you can still feel a deep peace in the midst of the storm. Tragically, I really don't have the theological skills to elaborate. It's just a feeling that I know when it rises up in me.

Essentially, I think yoga(or bodily prayer)really helps me be mindful of my emotions and be less reactive. It gives me the space to breathe and heal. Life is hard, at times. I carry a lot of stress and emotions in my body. My hope is that my yoga mat{and a cup of tea} will allow me space to recover from my day, when needed. Moreover, I hope that some way that bodily prayer will mix with my emotional prayer and water my heart. Or at the very least, I hope it will provide small port of refuge in the storm.

pose of the day: camel

What's your hope for today?

A Little(Dress) Romance: the Simpson.

2011-04-25T11:42:00.000-07:00

I am completely smitten with the the simpson's dress shop on etsy. It is not my usual cup of tea. I am a super structured black dress lover but lately I seem to etsy stalking this shop. It must be the change of season, that has me adoring simple, flowy dresses.

The simpson is actually L. Wang, a China based designer. She is super humble. When I was corresponding with her about her dresses, she described herself as your average designer. I disagree.Her dresses are like the poetry she infuses in her product descriptions. Here are two of my favorite dresses(an sweet little ditty) from her shop.

oh, was a time, like a clean, new taste
smiling eyes before me, inches from my face
wash my love, wash my love -L.Wang +

via

I love the idea of super comfy breathable fashion this spring. Now, if only my wallet could match my ambitions. What are you excited to wear this spring?

{At Last} Friday

2011-04-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

via

Truthfully, Fridays always make me giddy. It must be my inner preschooler!! I think that was the day in elementary school we got to rice krispie treats, right? I use to love those...

Today is really exciting because it's two holidays in one.

*Today is Earth Day! Check out these tips on being a wee bit earth friendlier.

*Today is Good Friday, too. Thus, Sunday is Easter{if that floats your raft}.For Easter, it might be fun to make these.

* I am not quite sure what I want to do this Easter. I know there are things that people usually do but not sure if I want to do those things. So, I'm going take my finger off Sunday and let it unfold organically.

This weekend...

*The truth is I have a cookbook that I am desperately waiting to devour and a bed that misses me.
*I kinda want to be outrageous:eat oranges, drink tea{this looks good} and look at fashion magazines or blogs in bed on Saturday.
*Homework, my constant companion, is always awaiting me, for a few more weeks.
*Maybe, I'll venture to the farmer's market because I want to make this.
*Listening to some music is always a good weekend activity.
* Maybe, I'll pop into a yoga class.
*Or it's possible I'll just skip it all and just paint my toes.

What are your weekend plans? I hope that whatever you do, it's lovely.

P.S. Isn't this super?

Poetry on a Thursday

2011-04-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

April is National Poetry Month but everyday is full of poetry. Personally, I love poetry and hope to share more of it on this blog.
April is all about nature, new beginnings and life. I could not think of a better poet to than Mary Oliver to capture the essence of these days. Enjoy!

First Happenings by Mary Oliver

A morning-glory morning with its usual glory, dawn particularly startling with citrons and mauves, petunias in the garden flashing their tender signals of gratitude. The sunflowers creak in their grass-colored dresses. Cosmos, the four o’clocks, the sweet alyssum nod to the roses who so very politely nod back.

And now it is time to go to work. At my desk I look out over the flutter petals, little fires. Each one fresh and almost but not quite replicable.

Consider wearing such a satisfying body! Consider being, with your entire self, such a quiet prayer!

---M. Oliver, New and Selected Poems:Volume 2.

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P.S. I was recently featured over at CluelessCurl. It is a wonderful blog about eco-living and you should hop and say hi to Maggi.